Wednesday, October 16, 2013

31 Days of Writing: Day Sixteen "Write A Monologue"

Write a monologue for the character you developed yesterday.

It is my oldest child's birthday today, and I am reflecting on that joyous and nerve-wracking day 46 years ago.

We had tried for so long to conceive, and now here we were, about to have our first child. Jim was thrilled, of course, but I was still nervous about the delivery...and beyond. Would I be able to deliver this child safely? Would I be a good mother? So many questions, but I tried to put on a good face for Jim.

The delivery went smoothly enough, for a first time; Callie's birth was much easier, as they say the second babies are. Ah, Callie. She was an easy baby, so willing to be held in almost any position, and such an easy sleeper! James and Ryan had always needed a little extra coaxing to fall asleep, but Callie usually fell asleep before you even tried to put her down.

I wonder how she's sleeping these days.

She is running from something, or to something, I don't know. Is she looking for something? Trying to get away from something here? I know I'm not sleeping well because I can't stop thinking about her, worrying about her, praying for her, crying for her.

I don't know if it's something I've done... I've apologized a dozen times, trying to make amends for something, anything I did that could have hurt her, but I don't know what I'm apologizing for, and the apologies only seem to make matters worse, make her more distant. A couple months ago I stopped apologizing and told my daughter that if she wants to talk, I'm here, and I love you, Callie. I love you so, so much.

**linking up with Victoria!**

No comments:

Post a Comment