Doula Adventures: Book Review of "Choosing Naia"

This book is on BAI's list under the Special Circumstances section, and unfortunately, "special" does not equal "rare."

According to the CDC, approximately 6,000 babies born every year have Down's Syndrome. A study published in January, 2015, suggests that 30% of preborn babies diagnosed with Down's Syndrome will be aborted.

This tells me that the story of "Choosing Naia: A Family's Journey" is not uncommon, and for that reason alone, this was an important book to read.

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This was a hard book to get into, but after the first two chapters, I was sucked in {although I don’t understand why the book began with an account of someone’s brother being disabled… it didn’t seem to properly introduce the story or come back at all to be relevant}. Greg and Tierney are so likable and understandable, and the most shocking part to me was reading that they let Zuckoff follow their lives and decisions while they were making those decisions.

As a staunchly pro-life advocate, it was difficult for me to read about the various choices made or hypothetically made by the people in this book. I see all life, regardless of mental or physical ability, as made in the image of God and therefore worth protecting, but obviously there are other people who have different views. I can see, however, what a hard situation this would be to face, and I appreciate Greg and Tierney’s honesty when it came to how they approached their decisions.

As a future doula, the most inspiring person to me was Alicia Craffey, the genetic counselor. She was to couples facing genetic conditions what I want to be for women going into labor: I’m here to offer information and support you whatever decision you make. I loved that Alicia was available at any and all hours, and I was surprised to learn that so much of her communication with the Fairchilds was over the phone. But that is what the Fairchilds needed and had available to them, and I love that they felt connected enough to Alicia that they called her frequently, and that she connected with them so often as well.

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What do you think, friends? Share your thoughts!

Blog Every Day Feb: Day Twenty-seven - Fave Blogs

Linking up with Bailey Jean on our second-to-last day of February! Can't believe we're almost done.

People, I read a lot of blogs. Like, 50 blogs. I know. It's obsessive. And by that, I mean that I'm obsessed. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step to healing, but I don't think that this is a problem...

Anyway, picking favorite blogs is so so so hard! How do I choose!? Okay, here are a few faves, but please don't hold me to these favorites forever and ever amen, because they will change. That is a promise.

As much as I would love to write a brief and witty description of each of the blogs listed here, that would take days and days and would still not accurately or entirely capture what I love about them. So I'll give you the jist and you can check them out on your own time. Without further ado:

Camp Patton - mommy blog, hilarious dry humor, kid quotes

The Arizona Russums - life, Jesus, teaching and studying, cute baby!!

Wait + Hope - books, art, Kingdom perspective, and happens to be written by my bestie :)

My Drop in the Ocean - pro-life, college, loving people, singlehood adventures

Jen Hatmaker - I've written about Jen before, and she never ceases to shake up my mentalities. Can't get enough!

I could go on and basically list every blog I read, because I only keep reading the ones I really love, but 5 seems like a good number on which to finish. Plus, 5 is the number of grace, so I will extend grace to you and not list every. single. blog. that I read. You're welcome. 

Note: I keep scrolling through the blogs I follow to make sure I've listed the ones I want to, and I'm not sure at all! There are so many great blogs I love, but I'm forcing myself to hit publish and not bombard you with my entire reading list. But if you want some more suggestions, you know who to ask ;)

Blog Every Day Feb: Day Fifteen - A Big Dream

Linking up with Bailey Jean for today's prompt.

Well, Bailey has great timing. Dreams are what I've been praying about for the past few weeks. On my retreat last weekend, I was specifically asking God for direction and vision and a dream, a goal for my life. I'll be honest: I'm still praying about this. 

I want to see abortion ended in my lifetime. There, I said it. That is my dream, my goal, what I pray for. What can I do to see this happen? There are so many avenues to accomplishing this: changing hearts, adjusting education, changing the laws, providing support for women facing crisis pregnancies, connecting medical, financial, educational resources, praying, praying, praying...

In what capacity does the Lord want to use me? I studied business in college and have entrepreneur-blood in my veins, so how do I use my skills and training for my passion and dream? I don't know yet. Right now, I'm working in an unrelated field and volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center. There is the potential for more at the clinic, but nothing is solidified. I'm asking God for direction for my next step. 

If you would like more details on why I'm pro-life or about the clinic I volunteer at, please feel free to email me.

Blog Every Day Feb: Day Two - What Fires Me Up

Linking up with Bailey Jean for the Blog Every Day in February challenge!

Golly, where do I even begin? Bailey Jean created a beautiful collage to share her passions; Laura focused on an overarching theme. I could make a list, but it would be a) really really REALLY long and b) incomplete no matter the length. So... here's a hybrid :)

First of all is Jesus. He made me and He made the things that I'm passionate about, and He made me passionate about them. He's the best. 

Secondly, my family gets me fired up. This is both in the positive way and negative way, but that's the beauty of family, right? :)

The pro-life movement gets me fired up. I volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center, and my four hours there are the highlight of my week. If we're friends on Facebook, you may notice that I share more pro-life articles than actual status updates, and I have to remind myself to share my passion gently with people, instead of bursting with facts and information and solutions. Still working on this :)

Those are the big three, I think. And now in no particular order, here are more fire-starters:

• friends
• mojitos
• travel
• books
• Hans Zimmer
• birth stories
• cleaning
• education
• dancing
• children
• British television 
• baking cookies
• hosting {parties, visitors, overnight guests}
• showering
• laughter
• Zumba
• playing card or board games

...and sharing these with other people. I'm definitely an extrovert, plus I love people, so whenever I can be with someone, that's where I am. Being with people fires me up!

Wanna join the February blogging challenge? Here are the prompts; you can still join!

Blog Every Day Feb: Day One - My Story

Welcome to February and the Blog Every Day in February challenge! Here's the link from Bailey Jean so you can add your own {hint hint}.

Let's start at the beginning...waiting for the chorus of "the very best place to start" to ring out from the hills. See what I did there?

Like most children, I was born. :) And then my sister was born. And then my next sister was born. And then my next sister was born. And that is how the Fabulous Four came to be. Watch out, Washington!

My parents homeschooled us and I was also involved in a co-op for a few years. Childhood consisted of ballet lessons, bike riding, and book reading {wow, alliteration *pats self on back*}. The summer before 6th grade, my family moved to an island. This was a challenging time for me, as is common for adolescent girls. I didn't know too many other girls experiencing this, though, since after a couple of years on the island, the friends I thought I'd made turned out to not be true friends. 

Cue lifelong best friend. Enter Samara. Yes, we've been best friends since 6th grade :) 

After a couple more years of homeschooling, my parents heard the Lord that we were supposed to move back to the mainland and enroll in my church's private academy. In my teenage wisdom, I refused. And in my parents' wisdom, they ignored me. 

I entered 10th grade awkwardly. Samara was the only person I knew beyond a name-only basis, although I had grown up in Sunday School with the majority of my classmates. Also awkward: there were 2 other girls besides Samara and me, and then 8 guys. Culture shock, anyone? {For those doing the math, yes, that is a sophomore class of 12 students. Did I mention that this school is really small?}

However traumatic those first few months were, I survived. High school eventually became fun and enjoyable, and those stranger-classmates became good friends. Yes, there were ups and downs, but I think that there were more ups. 

senior ladies with just one month before graduation!

Senior year required a thesis paper {25+ pages} on "God's calling for your life." Gulp. I've always been the person who loves a schedule, a plan, the details spelled out. If God and I could sit down and He could tell me the story of my life, I would fill out my calendars in permanent marker and then go on living happily. Unfortunately for us Type As, that's not always how it works, and so I wrestled and cried and struggled and prayed and cried some more. And then God gave me an answer, and so I wrote my thesis. 

Ballet had still been a part of my life throughout this time, and I wanted to keep dancing, but in a different capacity. The answer to my thesis question and the direction of my life at the time was to go to school for physical therapy and then use ballet as therapy for children. This encompassed all my loves of dancing, children, and running a business {and it filled twenty-five pages quite nicely}.

Before I started college, though, I wanted to solidify my relationship with Jesus. My church offered the Master's Commission as a discipleship, leadership, get-to-know-Jesus 11 month school, and I filled out the application nervously. I'd seen "MCs," as students were affectionately referred to, all my life, and I was anxious about what would actually be in store for me.

MC Class of 2007-08

My year in Master's Commission was one of the hardest and best of my life {up to that point}. My 23 classmates and I grew to love Jesus in new ways, and we also grew to love each other. We toured the country in the summer of our year, and that trip is still one of my fondest memories. 

After Master's Commission, I started college. My first two years were spent at a community college {that turned into a four-year college while I was there}. Instead of taking the route of many of my friends and classmates and transferring to the University of Washington {or U-dub as it is called by locals}, I chose instead to go to Berea College in Berea, Kentucky. 

Berea was amazing. My roomie and I really hit it off, and we actually compiled a list of reasons God made us room-mates. Catherine and I chose to stay roomies for our second year, and I'm so grateful for our time together. She and I were both transfer students from out of state, had both been homeschooled, and were both older than the huge flock of freshmen with whom we went through New Student Orientation. 

old people surrounded by freshmen

While attending Berea, I went to church in a nearby town. My church back home was connected to a local church, and so there were a few families who adopted me on the weekends and let me get out of the dorms and back into a family structure for a few days, and I am so, so grateful for both the chance to get off campus and for the relationships with those wonderful people. AJ is my bosom friend from Kentucky, and her family considers me one of their own. So blessed by all of them!

some Kentucky family!

Class of 2012!!

After earning my B.S., I moved back home to Seattle. My parents wanted to hire me at their company, but wanted me to get some experience first. So after a summer at home, I flew to the Frozen Tundra to live with my grandparents and work at an internship. Laurie is my wonderful friend from that experience, and she and I have had some wonderful adventures together {including the thrill of being in the same ice skating rink room as Kristi Yamaguchi as well as the joy of seeing The Lion King on stage.}.

In March 2013, I finished my internship and moved back home again.And then in July, after travelling to Nicaragua, I moved into my own condo! Samara is my flat-mate and the past 6 months {our six month anniversary is on the 3rd!} have been awesome. 

As I type all of this up, I realize that there are so many more facets that could be included, like my passion for the preborn and my volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center, or the way I crochet like an old lady, or my obsession with British television, or that time I dyed the lower half of my hair purple-that-turned-pink, or the way that my sisters and I get together and sit around the table and just laugh the night away. But since this post is already one of the longest I've written, I guess more of this story will have to come later. Feel free to do some stalking reading of earlier posts, and do please say hello if you're here from Bailey Jean's link-up. Until tomorrow!

7 Quick Takes

Alright, people, no judging the depth and shallowness of the following takes. Rules are rules, and the rules say that I can whip out both moral issues and British television. Thank you, Conversion Diary, for facilitating posts without transitions and/or connectedness {if you don't believe me, check out her first take!}.

Without further ado...

Uno: My birthday was this week, and I think that either I have gone completely fan-girl crazy and there was no question as to what presents were appropriate OR my family has simply accepted that I am a slightly crazy fan-girl and if you can't beat 'em, join 'em buy fan-girl gifts. Either one works for me. My dear parents gave me a Disappearing Tardis mug, and my aunt mailed me some gorgeous Downton Abbey earrings. Also, two sisters have presents still in transit {the joy of January birthdays is that sometimes Amazon is still playing catch-up}, so there may be more fan-girl-themed gifts forthcoming. 

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Dos: Speaking of Downton Abbey, can we just talk about Season 4!? No? You haven't caught up yet? It's ok, we're only 3 episodes in so far. Hurry! Catch up and then tune in Sunday. Then we can talk about the Crawleys and the staff and the yucky people with creeper smiles and the lovely people who are making either wise or stupid decisions and oh my word can Baby George with his chunky legs please please please get a little more screen time? 

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Tres: Kye Kye -Amazing band. Have you heard of them? Listened to them? Go and do it now. Stream their new album or check out their music videos {Honest Affection and Dreams (2am)}. You're welcome.

Cuatro: March for Life 2014 happened! I know a few bloggers who did go {Laura, for example}, and a few more who did not go {Rachel, who wrote a beautiful piece about work and prayer}. This past Sunday was Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, then there was the March for Life on Wednesday, yesterday was my volunteer day, and then this coming Sunday is Presentation Sunday {also known as Conception Sunday, when couples trying to conceive are prayed for}. I'm so thrilled by the advances that the pro-life movement is making! Keep praying and working, friends! 

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Cinco: Speaking of the March for Life and dear Laura, check out this powerful video about the past 41 years. Incredible.

Seis: One more for the pro-life movement: "Gimme Shelter" opens in theaters today. If you haven't seen the trailer yet, check it out here. I encourage you to go see it... my plans are being made as I type!

Seite: Aaaand back to music. Anyone heard of John Newman? Please jump onto his musical train asap. And then {if you're in my neck of the woods-slash-country} come to his concert with me and Samara on April 16th, because this girl is going to her first concert since 2010. And let's please move on to the last take and not focus on how ancient and decrepit I now feel. Carrying on.

This now concludes the presentation of 7 Quick Takes. Check out more takes at Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes

Thanks for letting me verbally vomit yesterday. You know how when you actually throw up, right before feels way worse than during, and then after feels so much better? You know also when Bek makes a vomit analogy it really is worse than anything involving physical vomit because then you're just stuck thinking about vomit? But the worstest part of this whole thing is actually typing the word: v o m i t. Bleck. Moving on...if a recovery is even possible...

Let's get down to business {to defeat the Huns}!

1. Update on the TARDIS purse: the purse part is done! The strap is done! I'm starting the letters to go on the strap today. {"Strap" is also a gross word to type-aren't you glad I used it two times in a row!?} If you want to make your own purse, here's the pattern. If you want a TARDIS purse but are unwilling to sacrifice blood, sweat, and tears not a crochet-er, you can talk to me about my mad skillz. :D
   
2. 7 by Jen Hatmaker.... just finished it last night. Don't you love books that make you think? This one does, and weep and laugh. It's pretty wonderful and I highly recommend it. Jen also has a blog full of wonderful convicting posts.
   
3. This one's a bit heavy, but so so encouraging. Read these two posts {first and second} about Bound4Life's vision for this coming season, and pray for God's Spirit to move in ways we can't even imagine.
   
4. Also recommended by Jen Hatmaker, this company is really quite amazing and I'm thinking that Christmas is coming, y'all.
   
5. Um, Doctor Who... good friends Samara, Ashley, and Kayla each composed a glorious homage to our favorite threesome the Ponds.
   
6. This song is amazing. My friend Eric shared it with AJ's sister Steph, and somehow I got hooked into listening to this song quite frequently. Anyway...enjoy!
   
7. This video is incredible! Please invest 1 minute and 19 seconds to watch some guy do at age 53 what I have never been able to do ever in my whole life.
   
8. BONUS! The Doctor Who 50th Anniversary is in 9 days...repeat, NINE DAYS!!!! Try not to freak out ;)

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Thursday = Volunteer Day

Some of you know this already, but in case you don't, here's the scoop.

On Thursdays, I volunteer at a crisis pregnancy clinic. So far I'm still in training, but it's still one of my favorite parts of the week. The atmosphere in the clinic is so peaceful and welcoming; each time I arrive I think of the hours and hours of prayer and preparation that went into opening this new-to-the-area clinic. The grounds have been soaked in prayers of preparation, and it is evident even in the parking lot.

Last week, I got to shadow the director with a client for the very first time. It was a surreal experience for me, partly because I've been volunteering since April and hadn't seen a client yet, and partly because seeing a client is what I've been praying and preparing and training for since last September {I did my Care Net training before my internship in the Frozen Tundra}.

And it was also surreal because this was the first time I encountered someone facing a crisis pregnancy. We hear about these women all the time {or at least, I do because that's what I'm interested in}, but last week put a face to my prayers. This girl was not an example in my training manual; she was not even someone my director or fellow volunteers had met. This was a girl sitting on the couch a foot away from me, considering her options.

Because of privacy laws, I can't tell you more than that. But I can ask you for your prayers, for this girl and her situation as well as for me. I cannot fully describe to you how it is both intimidating and peaceful in the counseling room. There is pressure to say the right things, respond the right way, make your face look calm but involved, concerned but not freaked out, neutral but caring. But there is such peace, because Jesus is in the room too, and He is so, so faithful to prompt the right words and responses, and His heart shines out through our faces.

Psalm 27:13 ~ 

"I believe that 

I shall look upon

 the goodness of the Lord

 in the land of the living!" 

{ESV} 

True Confessions/Obsessions on Thursday

Some days, you just gotta spill your guts. These are not deep and intense thoughts; these are silly, random, obscure thoughts that just keep popping into my head at work and need to be shared somehow while not disturbing productivity. So here we go.

• Since returning from my beloved Kentucky, I've been unable to bring myself to wear "real" shoes. Sandals or nothing. Seriously. Oh, and here in the great Northwest, it has been raining almost constantly and has warmed up to a mediocre 65* average. But sandals it is!
• Have you guys heard of Veggie Straws??? They are made by Sensible Portions and I l o v e them. They give me the salty and crunchy fix that chips provide, yet they are made from vegetables and one serving size is 38 straws. Yep. Crunch away, friends! These things are delish. I'm in love.
  
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• Can we talk about Call the Midwife again? Butforrealztho. My mom and I just finished the first season {her first time seeing it} and we are ready to begin Season Two! So exciting! Some friends have said that "something big happens" and I'm really excited/nervous to watch.
  
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• And while we're on the subject of British shows, have you heard of "Miranda" before? Seriously one of the funniest shows out there. "Chummy" in CTM is played by Miranda Hart, a comedian and writer of this "semi-autobiographical" show. She is hysterical. Her sense of timing, her awkwardness, her comical situations- they all fit into this adorable show.
  
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  Warning: "Miranda" has some innuendos and/or conversations that are not suitable for children. But it is not the focus of the show, and it is conversation only. {Exception: one episode in S2 tries to be inappropriate, but again, it's conversation and intent only, and it's played for laughs.}
  Anyway, she is so funny; the females of my family squish onto the couch and watch it from a laptop and would be rolling on the floor laughing if we weren't wedged onto the couch so well. Def a fave.
• Save the Storks. I love everything about this group. Their tactic is to first offer help to abortion-minded women, and then provide them with information and resources. It's wonderful. Check them out at the link below the picture.
  
                                  Save the Storks
• Confession: I watched "Star Trek: Into Darkness." Yes, I'm a nerd. But not for the reasons you're thinking. I watched it because of Benedict...*swoon* Confession: I'm obsessed. Seriously. Cheekbones. Gah. {And yes, that is a Sherlock reference too...see what kind of a nerd I am!?!?} There are probably dozens of other pictures I could have posted, but I will use self-control and only post one.

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Is there anything that can follow up after Benedict? Nope. So I will leave you with the image of Ben...

Sunday's Ponderings

First of all, sorry for the one post last week. Sometimes two posts feels overwhelming, which is bad, because it shouldn't be. But it was a busy week, and we're going for flexibility, and if you have a problem with that, then you should probably find a different blog to read.

Yep, it's going to be one of those nights.

As you know, I'm looking for a condo or townhouse to buy so my bestie and I can feel like real grown-ups. I went to two open houses this weekend, and while there are some great places out there, so much depends on my budget, which right now is limiting.

So I'm contemplating ways to make some extra dough, and I'm also considering what my dad told me: people who are really successful do things that other people don't consider doing or aren't willing to do. He gave the example that the garbage man is usually the richest man in town because he does what no one else wants to do. So he encouraged me to find something that I'm passionate about and make that into my job. Do something that others won't do or aren't willing to do so that I can live in a way that others can't.

It makes sense. Dad bought a gas station when he was two years younger than I am. Dad is a risk-taker and a man of reason and faith, and he calls it like it is. He's very black and white. I am too, but probably not to the same degree. So I feel stuck, because I want to do something unusual and out there and something that I'm passionate about and that I can make a living off of and that I can pursue and all that, but I don't know what that something is.

I want to work more with people than with a computer.
I want to work with a purpose.
I want to use my gifts and talents that God has given me.
I want to do something that hopefully I could continue once I have kids.
I want to tangibly advance the Kingdom of God.

Any ideas?

That Antsy Stage

It’s the antsy time. You know, the time before a transition, and all your anticipation and nerves and frustrations and adrenaline are still stuck inside you with no where to go but to bed?

Because I’m in this stage, I feel like I’m wasting my life away. I know, it’s an exaggeration {you don’t get voted Most Dramatic in h.s. for nothing!}, but that’s what I’m tempted to think on lazy Sundays with travelling plans on Tuesday. There’s nothing to do right now- too soon to pack, too snowy to go out, wrong time zone to call friends or family- and so I feel stuck. It’s the awkward waiting period that lasts a few days and then goes away; it’s a time of transition, and so I’m antsy.

As previously mentioned, my bestie and I are planning on getting a place together. I’m meeting with the realtor next week to discuss stuff, and the ball is really getting rolling! I know God has a great place for us, and I’m so excited to move into this next stage.

Along with the anticipation and happiness of going home and finding a new home with the bestie, there is the sadness that comes, too. The reality of Grandpa’s passing will definitely sink in once I’m home, and I know I will really feel the loss as Grandma moves into my parents’ home and I see her frequently but Grandpa no more on earth.

I’m excited to start working for my parents, but I’m also nervous scared apprehensive about the whole process. Things will be different, because I’ll be doing a different job, I won’t be living at home {once we get a place, of course}, and I now have 6 months of experience that I didn’t have in June. But it’s still an unknown, and that means it’s an omnipresent thought in my mind.

Also, when I go home, I’m going to be volunteering for a crisis pregnancy center! I’m very excited to start serving!!! During training, the lady in charge of the education program {they go into schools and talk about abstinence and things like that} said that she would love for me to be a part of their program because I’m single. Guess being single is cool still! ;) I’m really looking forward to getting back to working with kids; I do miss my after-school groupies.

And on a lighter note, the bestie has been doing what she does best and sharing the passion for all things BBC and Sherlock, and now several of our friends are “on the bandwagon” {and by bandwagon I mean totally and completely obsessed}, and when Season Three comes out, we are planning a dress-up party for each episode! There are only 3 episodes; don’t think we’re totally crazy {we are, but not for that reason!}.It will be especially fabulous because these parties will be at our own homes, which is totally crazy because omg when did we get so old, but at the same time, it does feel kind of fun to think of hosting a themed party with friends at my house. Boom. I just grew a long white beard.

Thanks for listening, friends.

Random Saturday Musings

Just a few things to share, in no particular order:

I recently discovered the blog of  Laura, and I’m really inspired. She’s active in the pro-life movement, and we have similar goals in terms of our involvement in the movement. She and I have emailed a couple times, and I really admire this young lady! She gave me a really remarkable recommendation: start answering questions about abortion on Yahoo! Answers. Brilliant! So simple, yet so effective! Read her post about cyber counseling!

It snowed back at Home…as in, schools were delayed because it actually stuck. This never happens, and yet it did. And it snowed in my Other Home. This I think is more rare for March. And just when I was about to say “Finally you get what I’m getting,” it starts to snow here in the Frozen Tundra too. Ugh.

I’ve been on a Lord of the Rings kick recently. As in, I’m watching the movies again…by myself…yeah, the extended versions. Hello, I’m a nerd.

L came over today and we watched Anne of Avonlea. Sniff. I love that movie. Makes me want to re-read the Anne books, and then actually advance into the books about {spoiler warning for those of you who haven’t read it and have been living under a stupid rock} Anne and Gilbert’s married life.
Oh, and did I mention {sorry Lola!} that Dahlia and I are going to Prince Edward Island in August?!!?!? Yes we are, shut the front door. Contain your jealousy, everyone. We’ve basically been planning this trip since our sophomore or junior year of college. We were going to go “the summer after graduation!” but then we got jobs and realized that we are grown-ups and stuff, and so we delayed it one summer. But we’re going in 5 months!!! Holla! Or as they say up north, “Eh!”

Oh yeah one small teeny insignificant thing… I started packing. But hey, I leave in 3 days, instead of 30 like, oh you know, last month. But when I say I “started” packing, I really mean it. Just books and things that I won’t be using this weekend. So don’t freak out. I’m not crazy. Or as “Confessions of a Shopaholic” would say, “I’m not a pervert!”

don’t know where to go from here, so I’m going to go finish “The Return of the King.” Peace out!

Hesitating

Some of you may know that I was praying about going to DC to work with Bound4Life and pray to end abortion. Well, I emailed several times with a gal there, and basically they are cementing their full-time staff this year and are praying about starting an internship of sorts in the next few years. This means that right now, they don’t have a place for me. But when I mentioned to the gal that I’m interested in writing for their blog, she told me to write a post and send it, and we’ll see from there.

I've been hesitating to write a blog post for them, and although I tell myself it’s because I’m waiting to articulate my thoughts on a topic that hasn't been recently written about, it’s really because I’m scared to write something and send it to them. I don’t even know if I’m scared of being rejected; I think it’s more scared of putting myself out there. Which is ridiculous, if you know me, because I’m pretty out there. Maybe it’s because I won’t be there to “defend” my work, or because you guys know my voice and are like, “yeah that’s totes what Bek sounds like” but these guys won’t know what I sound like and might think “this chick is a nut case!”

So what do I do? I feel like I should write something, and I have the ideas of a post swirling…
I was going to end that sentence with “fear is holding me back” but that’s not true. As this cool p.interest picture says, fear is a liar.

So I’m going to write a post, and send it in, and I’ll let you know how it goes. Shoot, I might even post it here and let you all comment on it before I send it in. But I think admitting that I’m afraid and then realizing that I have no reason to be afraid {and realizing how stupid my fears are!} has made me determined to write something. It doesn't have to be a freaking 25 page expose. It just needs to be me writing from my heart and my passion, and not being afraid to share it. Bam. Watch out, world!

“The Steady Drumbeat”

 Check out this video from Bound4Life. It talks about the Church’s place in the abortion conversation and how we need to be that steady drumbeat bringing it up and talking about it and not letting it rest. As the description of this video says, “Indifference is no longer an option.”

Check it out.

Posted by Matt Lockett on June 15, 2012
On May 26, 2012 I had the privilege to participate in TheCall Virginia. I’m not sure exactly how many Calls I’ve been to now. I think this was my 10th. During one of the segments of the all-day gathering, I tried to bring some understanding and motivation for continually bringing abortion before the church to look at and address.
The church must take right standing on the issue of abortion. Indifference is no longer an option. Silence is an admission of guilt. Moral relativity is worthless. Charles Finney, the central figure of America’s Second Great Awakening, said that revival would be hindered or prevented if the church failed to take right standing on the issue of slavery. We can continue to theorize about spiritual awakening in this nation, or we can listen to those who experienced it first hand.
We cannot make peace with abortion.
Video here

Heavy Thoughts

 The past three weeks, 39 women have been walking from Houston to Dallas. Their walk was a symbolic walk for Life: 39 women, one for each of the years since Roe vs. Wade was passed; Houston is home of the largest Planned Parenthood center in the nation, Dallas is the location where Roe vs. Wade was decided. To learn more about this walk, go to their website.

Yesterday and today was the culmination of their walk with a conference called The Esther Call. You can read about it here.

Bound4Life asked for people to fast and pray yesterday and today, even if you couldn't be in Dallas. I was planning on praying and fasting with these wonderful ladies, but I failed. I completely forgot until a friend said that she was surprised I wasn't participating.

Sigh.
I
’m frustrated with myself for not making this more of a priority, and I’m ashamed that I want to go and work with this organization, yet I can’t even remember to write “fast and pray with Esthers” on my calendar. How hard would that be, and yet I missed it?! I’m disappointed in myself.

This causes me to question my passion, my dedication, my devotion even, to this cause. How self-absorbed am I, that I don’t even write something on my calendar when literally lives are at stake.
Sometimes I’m fed up with myself.

sigh again.

thank God for His mercy and love. I’m totally blown away, especially on days like today, by His forgiveness and passion for me. There is absolutely no reason for Him to love me, to die for me, or to use me, but He does all of these things and more. Jesus is amazing.

I leave you with the lyrics of a song:
Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain; He washed it white as snow.
O, praise the One Who paid my debt, Who raised this life up from the grave!

What a Weekend!

Ok, catch up. Friday night, my sister and friend and I went to see the new Pirates movie, which I would rate at 2-3 stars. I thought it was fine, and there was humor and action and love, and sword fights, and let’s not forget the dazzling Johnny Depp ;). We went to the movie while our younger sisters were at their high school dance. Saturday was pretty chill. My family went to church that evening (which is pretty awesome, I think!) and then my BFF and I went to her house and watched Sherlock, a modern-day take on Sherlock Holmes. I personally really like the show, and what’s not to love about British accents!? Sunday was a pretty lazy day for me. I slept in! Woohoo! And then pretty much did nothing else.

However, I’m sure you've heard about the tornado that hit in Joplin, MO. My roomie lives 45 minutes away, and thankfully she is alright! I just got off the phone with her, and she and her family are all safe. Her sister does not yet have power, but everyone is safe and well, and all the towns are stepping up and donating aid. It is so encouraging to hear that neighbors are able to help those around. I so appreciate learning about aid that isn't initiated by the government. I am so in favor of the local community stepping up and providing aid; thank you, Small Town, USA!

Ok, I think that can count as a semi-deep thought, but here’s the update from the Pro-Life blog I mentioned earlier. There is a website that lists all the charity organizations that businesses donate to, and which of those are pro-abortion and which are pro-life. Basically, I am not going to be giving any money to Starbucks or The Home Depot or Chevron anymore. You can read the professional blogger’s explanation here.

Random: my sister graduates from high school in like 3 weeks. Oh. Em. Gee.

Also random  and pretty: my friends and I were running through a blueberry field {there’s a trail, don’t worry} and we saw a lady with a camera, and lady in a white dress, and a guy in a suit walking into the field. Awww! Wedding pictures! Kinda random for a Monday night, but hey, it made our run a little bit more bearable!

Funny: You know, I can’t think of anything specific that happened that was really hysterical, but my family is pretty funny. I hope that you, dear reader, someday have the opportunity to sit down and have dinner with my family, or that you can transform into a fly for a day and you can spy on us, because we crack ourselves up!

Prayer focus: my dad. I mentioned just a few posts ago praying for my grandparents. They are my dad’s parents, and I can’t imagine what he’s going through, watching his dad deteriorate and his mom become so stressed because of his care. Please, pray for my family in this trying time.

Alright, readers, after my awesome run, I should definitely go take a shower. Peace to the out!

Oh boy George

My friend from school has to keep a daily blog about her work/internship this summer, and I told her that I would keep a daily blog along with her {so we have something to look forward to, and to make her requirement more pleasant}. She also has to take pictures and post them on the blog, and I told her that I would too, to the best of my abilities. My goal is for a picture 3 times a week. So here goes.

I was thinking about how I would organize it {because my middle name is Organization :D } and I thought, what if I had a deep thought, a prayer focus, a funny story, and something random, for each day? And I’ll try to have pictures to go along with one of them… we’ll see about that.

Deep thought: I’m following a pro-life organization, and one of their bloggers is starting a series about practical ways we can not support abortion in our culture. I’m really looking forward to this series, because I really want some better ways to speak out about this issue. I’ll be sharing a link to her blog as it comes out.

Prayer focus: my friends in the military. One is in the Marine Corps in a base on the West Coast; he’ll come home for a bit in August {hopefully I can see him- it will have been a year!} and then heads to Afghanistan in September. My prayers for him will definitely increase as he’s deployed!

My other friendis in boot camp for the Army. He’s down south in the humidity and heat, and I pray for safety, health, protection, and strength.

Funny story: For my job next year, I’ll be a TA. The teacher is a GREAT teacher, but we disagree on the fundamentals…she’s a lesbian… enough said. She’s framing the class around President Obama’s memoir Dreams from my Father. It sounds like a really cool idea, but I figured I should probably read the book. Bleh. So I’ll be reading that, and President George W. Bush’s book Decision Points and Sarah Palin’s America by Heart… I need 2 conservative books to cancel out the 1 liberal. I know, it’s bad. But it made me chuckle to myself, especially as I thought this while nodding my head and saying “Oh, this should be a great class!” Ironic, I know. Hopefully you find this sad-funny, instead of sad-pitiful.

Random: my sister embroidered a pillow for me! It is my belated birthday present she gave me when I got home. It’s really cool- it’s zebra striped and has my initial in pink… the best color combo ever!

Well, I hope that these posts improve… at least the funny part will. See ya tomorrow!

Hello, it’s April!

Wow… I go home in one month. Praise the Lord!

I don’t think I mentioned this before, but I’m not going to London this summer. After much stress and deliberation, my parents and I believe that God is telling me to wait, and that perhaps my sis and I will go next summer. I’m totally at peace, and I’m really excited to travel with my sister. Yay!

So this past weekend, I read almost the whole book of Unplanned by Abby Johnson. I have approximately 50 pages left, and I’d love to give you my thoughts right now.

Abby joined Planned Parenthood because she believed that her work was actually reducing the number of abortions. She believed that her work was protecting women by preventing unwanted pregnancies, and that in the end we wouldn't need abortion. She and other women like her genuinely believed that they were doing the best thing they could for women facing crisis pregnancies.

Her introduction informs readers that there is compassion on both sides of the fence, and that both sides should look at the other and realize that we’re on the side we’re on because we believe we’re doing what it takes to reduce the number of abortions. She warned us that we would not find hateful people on either side of the fence, but that there are caring people on both sides.

At first, I was hesitant. Does she mean that we’re both right? If so, I’m not going to like this book. But it wasn't like that at all. Because she’s writing from the perspective of looking back, she can say what she was thinking at the time, and what she wishes she knew then.

This is an amazing story. Please look her up, and if you want, buy her book. You can borrow it from me if you know how to get a hold of me, and since I come home in one month, it might not be that hard. ;)
Enjoy April! Happy springtime!

“Unplanned”

A few days ago, my friend posted a link on Facebook. It was a You.Tube clip about Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood director in Texas, and now a member of Coalition for Life. The clip featured Abby telling her story. You can watch the approximately 5 minutes long clip here.

You’ll notice that she wrote a book detailing her story. It’s called Unplanned. I went on Amazon and ordered the book right away {not too expensive, either}. It got here yesterday. Smiley face. But I’m not reading it until my research paper is ready to turn in. Sad face. But that shouldn't take too long, so I may start this book tonight or tomorrow. Smiley face.

I’ll be posting my thoughts about the book as I read it.

**Sept. 26, 2013 Update: Abby Johnson now runs an organization helping abortion-clinic employees safely leave their jobs. You can check out her work here.**

What I’m Up Against

Yesterday in Writing class, we played a game, if you can call it that. The class is focused on diversity in the college and the country, and the teacher explained that in order to understand other cultural groups, we must first be able to identify our own. So the students stood in a line across one side of the room, and the teacher read some statements, one at a time. If the statement applied to us, we were to walk across the room and face the rest of the class still at the original line. Clear as mud? So here we go.

“If you or any of your friends have ever been victims of sexual harassment or violence.”

“If anyone in your family has ever made a derogatory statement about another racial or ethnic group.”

“If religion is important to you.”

“If you have ever had derogatory statements made about you because of your gender.”

The list went on, and I was surprised at how many people responded to so many of the statements. There was a girl who went forward for almost all of the statements about derogatory remarks because of race, income, gender, religion, etc.

One of the last statements was “You believe a woman should have the right to choose.” What this has to do with diversity is beyond me, but my class doesn't seem to be too diverse on this issue. I was the only person who did not move to walk across the room. The rest of the class stood and looked at me, and in between heads I could see the professor looking at me, too. I held her gaze. It seemed that she held the silence for an extended time, but I don’t think she did it intentionally. Maybe she did. I don’t know. But then she said “thank you” and the rest of the class came back to stand with me.

The professor’s very last statement was “You felt uncomfortable answering any of these questions.” I am glad to say that I didn't cross the room for that, either. I was totally comfortable being the only one who wasn't pro-choice, and being one of a few declaring that religion is important to me. I am fine that people know my high school wasn't very racially diverse. I don’t really care what my classmates find out about me through this “game” because they’re going to get the same views when they speak to me.

Please pray for wisdom and discernment for me, and pray that I am an accurate representation of Christ and Truth. Thank you.