Baby Cuddling, Week One

Two Sundays ago was my first day getting up to my 4:30am alarm. It was the first time I groggily called the NICU, willing my voice not to croak like a bullfrog. It was the first time I tried {and failed!} to clock in using my volunteer PIN.

It was the first time I made the rounds in the NICU, asking the kind nurses if they had any babies needing cuddling. It was my first time {ever!} in the Family and Maternity Center {FMC}, and it was my first time holding a baby completely uninterrupted for longer than an hour.

The nurse didn't know this baby boy's name, so I didn't get to know it, either. We just knew he was a little fussy and that his mom needed some sleep. I settled into my rocking chair and opened my arms. The nurse gently transferred him to me, and I started gazing at him.

Everyone says that every baby is perfect, and I absolutely agree. Babies with pale skin, brown skin, yellow skin, red blotchy skin, purple skin... babies with no hair, black hair, curly hair, blonde hair, two hairs total... they are all perfect.

This two-day-old baby and I got to hang out for three hours. We watched {okay, I watched and whispered descriptions to him since his eyes were closed} the sun rise and the morning fog dissipate. I prayed over him and sang to him.

He squeaked and I hummed. He stirred and I stroked. He twisted and I patted. And when my shift was over and I gave him back to the nurse, I wondered where the time had gone and why couldn't I stay for the rest of the day. And then I realized that I would never see this baby again, and I confess that I cried a little.

I can't really describe the joyful ache I feel in my heart and my arms. I feel full of gratitude for the opportunity, contentedness with a baby in my arms, humbled to be serving new moms in this simple way... and I feel lonely for my future babies, sad for the NICU babies who can't go home with their parents yet, and pain for the parents who never get to take their newborn home.

Describing my time at the hospital really helps me process allll these emotions, so brace yourself for some baby cuddling stories! I don't know how much information I can share, but if you want to join me in praying for these little strangers, that would be wonderful. Thanks for listening. 

Not Alone Series: Back In the Saddle Again

{Not that I didn't love Labor Day's three-day-weekend, but did missing Monday throw off anyone else's game? Whew! Sorry to be late, ladies!}

We are back! As we get back into the swing of things with NAS, what other ways can we be more involved at church or in our communities? Is there a parish ministry you have been wanting to help with or start up? What about that after school program for homeless kids? Has something been preventing you from getting involved? How do you think this will help you personally, spiritually, and emotionally?

First off, I am so excited that NAS is back! Ladies, I've missed you each week! The FB page is wonderful, but these prompts and the unity that comes from the weekly topics... mmmm, nothing like it! So glad we're all back!

The past year has seen some severe ups and downs to my church. LOTS of changes have been made, and while not all of them have been easy, they've all been for the better, I think. As it frequently happens, changes in structure resulted in changes of population. My church family has shrunk a bit, and while I'm still in community with people, the number of "legs on the ground" part of church ministry has dramatically decreased.

While I serve in the church's nursery, what I really want to do is continue to host Jesus Feminist Book Club meetings. We met twice over the summer {the first time was when my neighbor caught his car on fire}, and both times the conversation has been so, so rich and good. The atmosphere at my church is changing, and I want to continue to be a part of the change, both with Book Club and in other conversations.

The "supplement" church, my other church body, has several great ministry opportunities, and while I can't be as involved as I'd like {thank you, rush hour traffic}, I'm looking for ways to join with them. This church has a fantastic Post-College & Early Career group, and I'm excited to start participating as I'm able.

Outside of my church body, I'm volunteering every week at CareNet Pregnancy and Family Services. I love my center! The ladies who work/volunteer there are awesome. Our little community is fantastic.

This Sunday, I will start volunteering as a baby cuddler in the NICU. I'm really excited about this, because even though I started the training process in April, the NICU cuddling only started September 1st. I'm looking forward to serving families who are going through a rough time, and of course I'm excited to hold babies!

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Thanks for joining! Be sure to visit Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe for the link-up and for future prompts. 

Finish This: {Belated} Week Thirty-two

Skidding in late to join the link-up party hosted by Nicole at Three 31, Jen at The Arizona Russums, Becky at The Java Mama, and Lisa at Coastlined.

13 Things to Know About Me {in 13 sentences}:

1. The biggest love of my life is Jesus, followed closely by Lee Pace, ice cream, and blogs.

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2. I have three sisters, and you'll often hear me refer to something funny/amazing/brilliant that "my sister" said, and you'll probably have to stop me and ask which funny/amazing/brilliant sister I'm talking about.

3. Usually, I'm in the middle of at least 3 books.

4. Even though I have an iPhone, I still keep my schedule on a paper calendar/day planner.

5. One of my favorite memories with my bestie is watching "Leap Year" together over the internet on Leap Day, 2012.

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6. My friend Whitney pierced my ear cartilage in an epic tale involving hotel bathrooms and "Parent Trap" flashbacks. 

7. I'm convinced that there isn't a problem in life that can't be soothed/healed/improved with some sea salt chocolate and Menage a Trois.

8. Today I will attend a training so I can be a volunteer "baby cuddler" at the NICU!

9. Only four more weeks of Bradley classes - once these are over, I'm hoping to start BAI's online program within a month. 

10. I really love Birdy, and currently this song is on repeat:

11. When I really want to suffer feel the burn, I do this ab series, follow it with this leg and glute combo, and end my pain burn session with this arm routine. 

12. Laundry is soothing to me, no joke. 

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13. I have approximately three more posts drafted in my head, so it's a good thing we have reached #13 because my brain is D-U-N done. 

That's a wrap for Week Thirty-two - come back next time {meaning in two days} for another round of Finish This!

Finish This: Week Twenty-eight

Linking up with these marvelous ladies: Nicole at Three 31, Jen at The Arizona Russums, Becky at The Java Mama, and Lisa at Coastlined.

The only thing standing between me and doula certification is $400. Right now I think I can afford it, but I want to wait a little bit longer just to make sure all the medical bills are covered for good and for sure. Thank the Lord for babysitting jobs on the weekends!

I don't have to be perfect to be used by God as a Client Advocate. When clients come into Care Net and I fumble my words or forget to pray with them, God can still use me. When I don't know what to say to a client facing a crisis situation, God can still use me.

I would improve Goodreads by adding a feature for re-reading books. I would love to be able to easily keep track of how many times I've read a certain book, because some {like my summer recommendations} books need to be read more than once! Oh, Goodreads, why don't you understand?

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Thanks for reading! If you want to participate, I'm sure you know the drill by now :) 

Finish This: Week Twenty-two

Hey there! Today I'm linking up with these fabulous link-up hosts: Nicole at Three 31, Jen at The Arizona Russums, Lisa at Coastlined, and Becky at The Java Mama.

I conquer fear by using the extension of the vacuum cleaner to suck up spiders. By reminding myself that as long as the house doesn't catch on fire, it won't kill me to try a new recipe. By laughing at whatever scares me...or laughing at myself being scared. And if I could whistle, I totally would, a la "The King and I."

I follow my heart by volunteering at Care Net as a client advocate. Getting to discuss options with a lady facing a crisis pregnancy is one of the most intimidating and most rewarding conversations I'll ever have. I love it, even when it's challenging. 

I feed my soul by reading wonderful books. By laughing with my bestie. By a phone date with my bosom friend. By babysitting. By watching "Miranda." By baking cookies. By cleaning my room. 

I used to worry about making friends after moving home, but then I found that by letting go of my preconceived ideas of people allowed {and still allows} me to get to know some amazing people. As Yvonne and I shared, and then as I shared for the Not Alone Series, making friends is about making a risk and then sharing the reward. Also, blogging friends can become real friends! :)

Thanks for reading! Come back next week for more Finish This prompts.

Not Alone Series: Selfishness

Linking up with Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe.

How do you combat being selfish with your time? As a single person, it's easy to get caught up in our own little independent world. There are those moments when we are needed for extra church things, hanging with our friends' kids, getting caught up with something on the one night we could stay in, etc., and we get frustrated that the needs of others are taking away from our own time. How do you avoid this selfish tendency and what do you do to avoid becoming frustrated with "sharing" your time with others?

Since I had a lot of positive feedback on last week's prompt {great big thank you for all the sweet comments!}, I trust that you will read with grace this week.

For the most part, I think I do okay at this. I'm part of the childcare ministry. There is a family at church whose kids I adore, so I'll "donate" a few hours of babysitting time. In the next few weeks, I'm going to start volunteering at the local hospital as a baby cuddler, and of course there's Care Net {sensing a theme, maybe?}. Most of the time I'm aware that singleness is a season and that I won't always have opportunities to get involved with different organization like I do now. I'm grateful for this time where I can juggle several different commitments.

However, I struggle with serving my grandma with a good attitude. There, I said it. It's easy for me to get involved with church or volunteer activities because I'm a people person and there are people involved in each capacity :) But when my grandma asks me to help her with something, internally I'm sighing and rolling my eyes and wishing that she would utilize one of her granddaughters who lives with her. I'm selfish because I would rather not help my grandma.

How lame, Bek. You don't like to help your 90-year-old grandmother.

I know. And I'm working on it. I'm remembering that she is 90, that someday I will be grateful for all the time I got with her, that someday should become rightthisminute. I'm working on it. I'm trying to concentrate on what a wonderful lady my grandma is and how much she can teach me and how glad I am that she's asking me to drive her places instead of wanting to drive herself {it took a while for my grandpa to give up the keys, but thankfully Grandma willingly asks for rides}. I'm grateful that Grandma is still here with us and that she's healthy and active and participating in the Daughters of the American Revolution and asking me for help with the computer because how many 90-year-olds ask email questions?!?

I combat selfishness with gratitude and the grace of God. It's an ongoing battle, but I know that I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.

Want to join the link-up? Answer the prompt and share the link to that post on Morgan or Jen's page. Hope to see you there!

Blog Every Day in Feb: Day Nine - A Day in the Life

Linking up with Bailey Jean as we continue with her February challenge!

This prompt reminds me of one I wrote for Victoria's October challenge {see Creative Writing tab for those posts}. Just to keep things interesting, let's use this style. 

5:43 AM - alarm goes off. Snooze is promptly hit.

Nine minutes later...

Alarm goes off again. Decision time: hit snooze again? The answer is almost always yes.

Another nine minutes later...

Doesn't Apple know how to make an adjustable snooze time??? Seriously. 

With this thought, I get out of bed. With either a worship song or the audio Bible playing, I get dressed, put on make-up, fix my hair. Shoes, scarf, purse - check, check, check. Grab water bottle and lunch from the fridge, and out the door I go.

Driving to work = audio book! This makes my commute so much more peaceful, it's unbelievable. 

7:00 AM is the official start to the workday. Emails receive responses, phone calls are answered, clients are cared for. 

Noon brings a lunch break, usually with my parents and I stealing the newspaper and interrupting each other to read whatever headline we're engrossed in. 

12:30 PM - back to work! More phone calls, some typing, a bit of editing, lots of reading and searching for share-able material {I manage our social media}.

Monday-Wednesday, I leave the office at 3:00. Thursdays are my volunteer day, so I leave at 1:30. Friday is done whenever the phone stops ringing, which means between 2 and 3.

After work, there is usually a Zumba or dance class to rock out work out. Dinner with the bestie, maybe some classic Doctor Who, and then reading before bedtime - all of these are important. 

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When I type out this description of my days, it sounds boring and uneventful and life-less. But there is life here, in each day. There are conversations with my parents {perks of working for them}, there are conversations with my bff, there is laughter with my co-worker, there is gentle teasing of clients. 

At home, there is the rhythm of household activities: laundry loads through the cycles of wash and dry; dirty dishes arranged carefully in the dishwasher; checking the mail and feeling like a grown-up for taking care of bills {online bill pay = hallelujah!}; coordinating dinner plans and deciding how adventurous tonight's meal will be. 

My life is full of life and I love it. This season is really wonderful, and while I can see changes ahead and have vision for things to be different, still each day soothes my heart and I must declare: 

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Blog Every Day Feb: Day Two - What Fires Me Up

Linking up with Bailey Jean for the Blog Every Day in February challenge!

Golly, where do I even begin? Bailey Jean created a beautiful collage to share her passions; Laura focused on an overarching theme. I could make a list, but it would be a) really really REALLY long and b) incomplete no matter the length. So... here's a hybrid :)

First of all is Jesus. He made me and He made the things that I'm passionate about, and He made me passionate about them. He's the best. 

Secondly, my family gets me fired up. This is both in the positive way and negative way, but that's the beauty of family, right? :)

The pro-life movement gets me fired up. I volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center, and my four hours there are the highlight of my week. If we're friends on Facebook, you may notice that I share more pro-life articles than actual status updates, and I have to remind myself to share my passion gently with people, instead of bursting with facts and information and solutions. Still working on this :)

Those are the big three, I think. And now in no particular order, here are more fire-starters:

• friends
• mojitos
• travel
• books
• Hans Zimmer
• birth stories
• cleaning
• education
• dancing
• children
• British television 
• baking cookies
• hosting {parties, visitors, overnight guests}
• showering
• laughter
• Zumba
• playing card or board games

...and sharing these with other people. I'm definitely an extrovert, plus I love people, so whenever I can be with someone, that's where I am. Being with people fires me up!

Wanna join the February blogging challenge? Here are the prompts; you can still join!

Finish This Week 2

Linking up with Jen, Lisa, Nicole, and Becky!

Check out the links here :)

If I could make anything grow on trees, it would be instant manicures. Pick one off the tree and BAM! Your nails are done. No waiting, no chipping, no clumping. Done nails, just like that.

I can't stop smiling because I've seen Sherlock Season 3. Because it's almost my birthday. Because zumba is tomorrow night. Because there is a Tardis blanket on my bed.  Because I'm in the middle of two good books. Because January has been awesome {and hard and wonderful and challenging and stretching} and February is shaping up to be pretty darn awesome. Because today is a good hair day. Because tomorrow is Volunteer Day. Because God has great plans for me.

I get back to nature by admiring Mt. Rainier. Ahh! 

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I dread washing the fridge. I can clean the bathroom and the rest of the house until the cows come home, but please dear Lord above don't make me clean the fridge. Please distribute grown-up points here, though, because I have actually cleaned the fridge since moving out on my own. Once. Moving on. 

There ya have it! See you next week for Version 3 of Finish This. 

Fantastic Friday

As I've mentioned before, Thursday is my day to volunteer at my local crisis pregnancy center. Because of HIPAA and other privacy laws, I can't share too many details, but I think I can tell you this: a few weeks ago I saw my first client by myself.

I was nervous about it, because previously I had only shadowed my director with clients. But the appointment went well, and afterwards I added this client on my mental prayer list. Every time I thought about this lady, I prayed for her. She came to a follow-up appointment {on a different day at the clinic, so I didn't see her} and then that seemed to be it. I called her every couple of weeks and left a message just to check in.

Last night I left what I thought would be my last message; we can't leave too many or we cross the line from checking in to bothering, and we don't want to cross that line. So I called her and left a message and said another prayer and went back to my other duties.

Just a few minutes later, the phone rang. My director answered it and then, "Bek, it's for you!" My immediate thought was, "It's either {this client} or my mom, and I don't think my mom even has this number!"

It was my client! She was calling back to let me know how things are progressing and everything is going really well. We talked for a few minutes and then she had to go, but I was ecstatic that she had called! To know that God answered my prayers, my specific prayers for this girl, and that He had used me just a little bit to help this gal in a time of need....wow. My mind was completely boggled.

I told Samara last night that as cliche as it sounds, I feel like my life has meaning because God used me to help this client. Not that I'm so insecure about the point of my life, but that I'm getting to the point - my goal is to be used by the Lord in whatever way He deems the most awesome, and now I can point to this specific instance as a time He used me.

From my selfish, one-sided perspective, this is something I can hang on to as a tangible "Look at what God does with useless pathetic me; if He can do that with me to work with, He can do anything!" This testimony, even though it's mine, increases my faith each time I think of it.

The Lord didn't have to use me, and He didn't have to let me know any more of her story, but He did! I'm so grateful and thrilled and in awe of how He works.

I hope that this encourages you, and if you would like to get involved in a crisis pregnancy center, allow me to encourage you to jump on board! There are tons of ways to bless these clinics, so don't think you're limited strictly to volunteering your time. If you need ideas, hit me up :)

Happy Friday!

7 Quick Takes: Some Faves

1. Please allow me to point out that this is my fourth post this week. *pats self on back* Blogging is fun when you have such great readers! *pats readers computer monitor...awkwardly*
   
2. This is the song I've been falling asleep to every night. Get your tissues ready, Whovians!
   
3. Just found out about this kid named Toby and his goal to write a letter to every country in the world. Wow! Such a cool goal, and so awesome that he's close to accomplishing it!
   
4. Today is my volunteer day at Care Net. I'm really excited to go to the clinic and see who God brings through our door.
   
5. Last night I got the decorating bug and was inspired by my old dorm room:
   
   
   
   And so now a wall in my bedroom looks like this! {Pictures of my bedroom coming soon...} I think that notes and cards and words of encouragement are one of my love languages, because I keep almost every note that has ever been given to me!
   
6. Speaking of decorating, Pinterest has once again come to the rescue of gifted-not-artistically people like myself through inspiration from Martha Stewart.
   
7. My friend Laurie from the Frozen Tundra is coming to visit tomorrow! So excited! This means that Funny Friday may turn into Recap Monday, because we are going to be busy this weekend. We're going to be traipsing all over the western half of the state and playing tourists. Such fun! So in advance, happy Friday!

Thursday = Volunteer Day

Some of you know this already, but in case you don't, here's the scoop.

On Thursdays, I volunteer at a crisis pregnancy clinic. So far I'm still in training, but it's still one of my favorite parts of the week. The atmosphere in the clinic is so peaceful and welcoming; each time I arrive I think of the hours and hours of prayer and preparation that went into opening this new-to-the-area clinic. The grounds have been soaked in prayers of preparation, and it is evident even in the parking lot.

Last week, I got to shadow the director with a client for the very first time. It was a surreal experience for me, partly because I've been volunteering since April and hadn't seen a client yet, and partly because seeing a client is what I've been praying and preparing and training for since last September {I did my Care Net training before my internship in the Frozen Tundra}.

And it was also surreal because this was the first time I encountered someone facing a crisis pregnancy. We hear about these women all the time {or at least, I do because that's what I'm interested in}, but last week put a face to my prayers. This girl was not an example in my training manual; she was not even someone my director or fellow volunteers had met. This was a girl sitting on the couch a foot away from me, considering her options.

Because of privacy laws, I can't tell you more than that. But I can ask you for your prayers, for this girl and her situation as well as for me. I cannot fully describe to you how it is both intimidating and peaceful in the counseling room. There is pressure to say the right things, respond the right way, make your face look calm but involved, concerned but not freaked out, neutral but caring. But there is such peace, because Jesus is in the room too, and He is so, so faithful to prompt the right words and responses, and His heart shines out through our faces.

Psalm 27:13 ~ 

"I believe that 

I shall look upon

 the goodness of the Lord

 in the land of the living!" 

{ESV}