Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Hesitating

Some of you may know that I was praying about going to DC to work with Bound4Life and pray to end abortion. Well, I emailed several times with a gal there, and basically they are cementing their full-time staff this year and are praying about starting an internship of sorts in the next few years. This means that right now, they don’t have a place for me. But when I mentioned to the gal that I’m interested in writing for their blog, she told me to write a post and send it, and we’ll see from there.

I've been hesitating to write a blog post for them, and although I tell myself it’s because I’m waiting to articulate my thoughts on a topic that hasn't been recently written about, it’s really because I’m scared to write something and send it to them. I don’t even know if I’m scared of being rejected; I think it’s more scared of putting myself out there. Which is ridiculous, if you know me, because I’m pretty out there. Maybe it’s because I won’t be there to “defend” my work, or because you guys know my voice and are like, “yeah that’s totes what Bek sounds like” but these guys won’t know what I sound like and might think “this chick is a nut case!”

So what do I do? I feel like I should write something, and I have the ideas of a post swirling…
I was going to end that sentence with “fear is holding me back” but that’s not true. As this cool p.interest picture says, fear is a liar.



So I’m going to write a post, and send it in, and I’ll let you know how it goes. Shoot, I might even post it here and let you all comment on it before I send it in. But I think admitting that I’m afraid and then realizing that I have no reason to be afraid {and realizing how stupid my fears are!} has made me determined to write something. It doesn't have to be a freaking 25 page expose. It just needs to be me writing from my heart and my passion, and not being afraid to share it. Bam. Watch out, world!

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