Heavy Thoughts

 The past three weeks, 39 women have been walking from Houston to Dallas. Their walk was a symbolic walk for Life: 39 women, one for each of the years since Roe vs. Wade was passed; Houston is home of the largest Planned Parenthood center in the nation, Dallas is the location where Roe vs. Wade was decided. To learn more about this walk, go to their website.

Yesterday and today was the culmination of their walk with a conference called The Esther Call. You can read about it here.

Bound4Life asked for people to fast and pray yesterday and today, even if you couldn't be in Dallas. I was planning on praying and fasting with these wonderful ladies, but I failed. I completely forgot until a friend said that she was surprised I wasn't participating.

Sigh.
I
’m frustrated with myself for not making this more of a priority, and I’m ashamed that I want to go and work with this organization, yet I can’t even remember to write “fast and pray with Esthers” on my calendar. How hard would that be, and yet I missed it?! I’m disappointed in myself.

This causes me to question my passion, my dedication, my devotion even, to this cause. How self-absorbed am I, that I don’t even write something on my calendar when literally lives are at stake.
Sometimes I’m fed up with myself.

sigh again.

thank God for His mercy and love. I’m totally blown away, especially on days like today, by His forgiveness and passion for me. There is absolutely no reason for Him to love me, to die for me, or to use me, but He does all of these things and more. Jesus is amazing.

I leave you with the lyrics of a song:
Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain; He washed it white as snow.
O, praise the One Who paid my debt, Who raised this life up from the grave!