Funny Friday: "First Lines" Edition

Samara via her friend Simon introduced me to the tradition of "First Lines," where you post the first line of your first post for each month. I thought that this could double as a Funny Friday post, because lezbihonest: this has great potential for hysterics. And go!

January: Scene: Dinner is over and Grammie is doing the dishes.

February: So I meant to post a sweet something on Saturday, thereby rocking the alliteration club, but alas.

March: Been working from home for about 9 business days now {thankfully back in the office this week - got a little too stir crazy last week!} and I had lots of time to think.

April: So, sorry for dropping off the grid there, folks. I ride two airplanes and suddenly can't put my thoughts in order. Sheesh.

May: Well, here goes. It feels like I've been thinking I should blog about that for too long, so I'm going to try and get a few thoughts out. Brace yourselves.

June: You know it's a Monday when...you go to type "brain blip" as your title and type "brian" instead...yep.

July: Ok folks, I had one goal for this weekend: buy a bookshelf.

August: Today is one of those days where: ...the alarm is set for as late as I can handle, and still the snooze button manages to get hit.

September: Ah, Sunday. A day of rest, a day of worship, a day of...not finding one church and ending up at another. Oh well.

October: My two earliest memories both involve hospitals. Perhaps that is why I am so traumatized by them now.

November: Ok, guys, I know that I basically counted every single day of October via 31 Days of Writing, but still... I can't believe it's November already!?!?!? Because you know what happens in November? Christmas music. Which leads to Christmas, which leads to a new year...meaning November 2014 is in like 2 weeks, basically.

December: Wow. Sorry for dropping off the planet there for a while. Life just got crazy, ya know?

So there you have it! First lines of each month... I think this shows that my posting frequency decreases dramatically at the end of the month, since so many of my first posts start with "sorry for not posting..." Guess we'll work on that habit, eh?

Happy Friday!