Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Along Came A Spider...

You may have caught the gist of this story on Facebook. However, my mind is so scarred that this is all I can think of. So please enjoy.

Last night, I vacuumed the entire condo.

Let me back up.

There I was, minding my own business, bawling over Doctor Who {yes, I've already seen these episodes, and yes, I still cried. Ten saying goodbye to all his companions? Tearing up as I type!}

So I'm sitting on the floor wearing my Princess Diaries-inspired pajamas, wrapped in a cocoon of my pink blanket, and in the corner of my eye, I see something move. Now, Samara is out for the evening, so there should be no movement except for me and the television screen. Nevertheless, something moved.

What my eyes beheld was not something that brought joy to my heart. Or as someone commented on Facebook, "that did not bless me."

There was a HUGE spider making a move on my Kleenex box. As in, it was between me and my tissue. As in, just a few inches from my person. But don't worry. Our close proximity only lasted about half a second.

I leaped onto the couch and let loose an expression that I will not share here. By the time I turned around to look at the spider, it was gone. Completely gone. 

On the one hand, I was really glad the spider hadn't attached itself to me or my blanket. On the other hand, I wanted to know where the darned thing was hiding!

Soooo I vacuumed the entire condo. I even vacuumed the closet in which the vacuum resides. The couch got a good once-over. The recliner {upon which I was leaning at the time of this incident} got pulled out and the whole area was vacuumed over a couple of times. I even did the hand-held and vacuumed as far behind the bookshelf as I could reach. 

But the spider was nowhere to be found. It was partially not at all reassuring, but I had also vacuumed my room, so I went to bed in peace. But just to be safe, I warned Samara via text: "beware the loose spider!"

This morning, Samara reported that the spider had been waiting for her...in her room...the one place I hadn't vacuumed because, like, personal space and stuff. But that spider was smart- it went to the one place I wouldn't vacuum!

Rest well, readers: Samara's nickname is "Sting, the Spider Slayer" because that woman takes out spiders like a Seattlite takes out recycling. Which is like a boss, in case you don't get my made-up analogy. 

Anyway, this story has a two-part happy ending. The condo is vacuumed and the spider is dead. Holla. 

UPDATE: If you would like to read Samara's version, please brace for a chuckle and enjoy :)


  1. I never knew you had a thing about spiders. They simply don't bother me.

    On the other hand, I hate grasshoppers. :-P