Not Alone Series: Summer

Hi friends! It's hard to believe that this is our last NAS link-up before the summer - thank you, Jen and Morgan, for all your hard work hosting our link-ups each week and for facilitating our FB group. You guys are awesome!!

Also, happy second anniversary, Not Alone Series!! Yay!!

Today's prompt is about summer plans, since it is June {!!} and we won't be linking our blogs this summer.

My summer plans consist of spending time with my family and friends, specifically the sister with whom I now live - woot! Maybe we'll even get through Gilmore Girls :)

Some short road trips are definitely in order. My dear friend Dahlia lives a couple hours east of me, and we both will be making at least a few drives to visit each other. Also, Portland is just a few hours south, and Powell's has been calling my name for a couple of months now.

I'll be housesitting for a couple of weeks in July, so that will be fun to make friends with some cats ;) Also, my favorite Aerobic Dance class is coming back to Tuesday nights, so that'll be great fun.

Oh! And this summer I plan on cracking down and cranking out a ton of doula work. It would be my dream and goal and heart's desire to get through all my certification requirements {except for the births} by the end of 2015. I'm finishing the last book today {10 pages left!} and will share another review shortly. I'm working on some doula business names and when I have them narrowed down, I'll be sure to share them with you all :)

That's my summer so far! I hope you all have grand plans, and NAS girls, see you on FB :)

Not Alone Series: Physical Affection

Linking up with Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe.

Everyone has different ideas on physical affection and where their personal boundaries lie. What boundaries do you draw or expectations do you have for physical affection in romantic relationships? Have specific experiences led you to draw these lines?

Oh man. Big topic, Jen and Morgan!

Two things I want to share before answering: I've never been in a romantic relationship, and my primary love language is touch.

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Seriously, Jessie is pretty much me. 

Since physical touch is so important to me, I know that Mr. TDH and I will be discussing this in depth throughout our relationship. I want to honor both of us, glorify the Lord, and show affection without worrying about regrets later. That's it for me, really, because I don't think I can say I will or will not do a specific thing...too complicated! So glorify God while showing affection without regrets. Boom. 

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What do you think? Head over to Jen's for more posts on this topic!

Not Alone Series: Friendship {freebie!}

Linking this "freebie" topic with Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe!

"I'm so grateful for you two!" was a frequent refrain last weekend as my two best friends and I played by the sea. I love that my friends and I are able to express gratitude for each other to each other. We all live at least an hour from each other, but through group texts and phone calls and weekend getaways, we are able to stay connected, and I think through our physical separation, we are more aware of and grateful for our close friendship. {To read and see the highlights of our weekend, check out Samara's great post!}

In 8 days, I'll be back in the Bluegrass State with my bosom friend and the rest of the family in my Other Home. My friendship with AJ is another sweet, sweet gift. She and I text regularly and talk as often as the three-hour time difference allows. One of the best part of our relationship is that we tell each other that we're thinking of each other, missing the other, and grateful for our friendship - I love that!

Another grand adventure is about to start next month - my sister is moving in with me! I am beyond thrilled that the sister with whom I begrudgingly shared a room through our childhood and adolescence is now {voluntarily!} moving into a grown-up living situation with me. There is a point in time where you begin to hang out with your siblings because you enjoy their company, not just because they live with you, and then there's a point where you want to hang out with your siblings while not living with them, and now we are at the point where we want to hang out AND live together. Grown-up sibling relationships are so wonderful.

NAS Community, you add joy and color and encouragement to my day, and I'm glad that we are virtual friends. I'm grateful for you!

Not Alone Series: Challenge Accepted!

Linking up with the fantastic Jen from Jumping in Puddles and Morgan from Follow and Believe for this challenging edition of the Not Alone Series!

It's that time again! In the past, we've challenged ourselves to grow and/or take steps toward moving closer to our vocation. These challenges have come in all different forms! Being active with online dating, getting more involved with young adult ministry/parish life and working on bettering my prayer life have been {Jen's} personal challenges. What is one thing you want to challenge yourself to do that might help you along your path towards God's will...or maybe just help you become more open to God's will? 
Share what your plan is and why, and then in 2 weeks we'll write on how this challenge went!

I love that this challenge is coming in the second half of Lent, because I can feel myself losing focus and needing something to bump me back on track. Not that this challenge will be related to/associated with Lent, but having this challenge will help me stay on track with the challenge of Lent, if that makes sense.

For the next two weeks, I want to focus on praying every morning and tracking my food intake throughout the day. I have a rosary {made by the lovely Sarah Therese!} to help with the former and I use the My Fitness Pal app for the latter.

I've been pretty good about reading the Bible every morning {thank you, Bible app!} and staying on track with my Lent reading plan. I want to emphasize prayer for two weeks for a myriad of reasons, the foremost of which is that Jesus tells us to pray :) Good reason, huh!

As for using the My Fitness Pal app, I've been hesitantly getting back on the bandwagon, but this challenge should be the accountability and habit-forming kick in the pants I need. Also, I've entered into a competition with another volunteer at Care Net, and I want to be win!

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Alright, there you have it. Prayer and food tracking, here we go!

Not Alone Series: Spiritual Writings

Linking up with the ever-fabulous Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe!

What are some of your favorite or go-to books for devotionals, or even blogs that help encourage you in your spiritual life?

Oooh, I'm looking for some new suggestions from you, friends! Can't wait to hear what you're reading!

My two favorites are: One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are* by Ann Voskamp {check out her blog, too!} and He Loves Me! Learning to Live in the Father's Affection* by Wayne Jacobsen.

Both are regular chapter books that I've adapted to read as part of my devotional time. Ann Voskamp does offer an accompanying devotional, and I do enjoy having space in the text to write. Wayne Jacobsen's book... man! I've read it half a dozen times, and I have two copies on my bookshelf so I can loan them out to people. It is so, so good.

As for blogs that are encouraging... that's a long list, my friends! I don't read blogs if they are not encouraging or uplifting in one way or another, but since we're focusing specifically on spiritual encouragement in this post, here are just a couple of my favorites:

• Shauna Niequist {my favorite post of hers here}
• Sarah Bessey {SO many amazing posts, but this is one of my favorites}
• my IRL friend Carla {her 31 Days of Writing were especially encouraging} 

What about you, friends? Send some recommendations this way!

* affiliate links

Not Alone Series: Loneliness

Linking up with Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe for another Not Alone post!

We all have times when we feel alone. What are ways that you combat loneliness? Pray? Join a group? How can we encourage each other to stay positive? ~ prompt courtesy of Laura

What perfect timing with Valentine's Day this weekend!

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Let's just all get on the same level here and acknowledge that when we are talking about "loneliness" we are not talking about having no friends or living as a hermit; we are talking about not having a Special Someone. Those are different longings, I think, and while both are totally valid, I want to be clear that I'm talking about the latter.

Well, friends, where do I turn when I'm lonely? I turn to friends! If my friends are in a relationship, they haven't been their whole lives, so I can vent to them, and if my friends are single, they are living the struggle! My friends and I encourage each other, and we pray for each other, which is so wonderful.

I really like Morgan's suggestion of learning to love your own company. That one took me a while, for sure #extrovertproblems. There was a time when I was calling my friends on my commute home, trying to get together with them that day, just so I would have something to look forward to other than being home alone.

More recently, though, I think I've settled down with myself. Being alone is not something I dread anymore. This only came through practicing being alone, so if being alone is uncommon for you, give it a whirl!

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Finally, I like to use my moments of loneliness to pray for Mr. TDH and our future together. I pray for the moment we meet and our process of growing together and our lives together. I pray that we will glorify God through our relationship, and hell yes I pray that our relationship will start!

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Jk... a little. Ok, not very much. Mainly that's true. 

{This may have revealed what I really do when I'm lonely - watch other lonely people on television. Um what? Did I just admit that? Noooooo...}

How can I encourage you? How can you encourage me? I think the title of this series says it all: even when I feel all alone in the world, I know that I am not. There are so many of you awesome ladies out there who are experiencing similar things, and I think we should pray for each other, be good friends to each other, {give tv recommendations to each other!} and send virtual hugs because we truly are not alone. Because what are friends for?

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Not Alone Series: Selfies

Linking up with the magnificent Jen from Jumping in Puddles and Morgan from Follow and Believe - welcome back to the Not Alone Series!

Do you support the selfie trend? Do you think it promotes self-absorption, vanity, and narcissism? Is there a way to incorporate selfies into the Church's teachings of modesty, authentic beauty, humility? {Thanks to Hannah for this week's prompt!}

The short answer? No, I don't "support" selfies, as in I don't take them. I don't usually share pictures of just myself, or if I do, it's usually over text to a couple friends for a specific reason {new haircut, debating an outfit, etc.}. Pictures of just me by me seems a bit too focused on me.

However, I am a fan of the "group selfie" because I think when years have gone by, we will want to remember not the outfit we wore but the people we were with at a specific time. I want to get better at taking pictures with my friends, because I want to remember the fun times we are having together. This is one of my favorite pictures of my besties, and this is another great one. They are "selfies" in that we took these pictures of ourselves, but our selves aren't the focus; we are the focus, and that's the focus I love.

Not Alone Series: Advent

Hi friends! I know that today is Saturday and NAS link-ups are on Tuesdays, but sometimes even with Amazon Prime, things take longer than planned. So I won't make you wait another moment; let's get on with this Advent post!

What are you doing for Advent? How are you preparing your heart for this season?

So many bloggers mentioned Ann Voskamp's Unwrapping the Greatest Gift: A Family Celebration of Christmas*, so I ordered it myself. Then I read another blog about how she was excited to read this book with her children, and I took another look at it and finally clued into the word "family" and translated that to "kids" and so I cancelled my order and ordered the grown-up prequel, The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas*.

That is the really long and dramatic story of how I'm preparing for Advent. Funny, because the story of Christ's coming is also long and dramatic. I mean, mankind fell not even five chapters into Genesis, and Jesus came 42 generations after Abraham. I can't even fathom that. My grandmother has researched my family history back to the Revolutionary War, and I'm pretty sure that's fewer than 15 generations.

Ann Voskamp is leading me through the generations, starting with Adam and Eve, all the way through to Christ's coming. What a beautiful story of grace and mercy. God loves us humans so much!

NAS is taking a break from linking up until the New Year, so I plan on sharing some highlights from this devotional throughout the month. What's your favorite Advent reading/tradition/devotional?

*affiliate links

Not Alone Series: Thankful

Linking up with Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe for this extra "grate{ful}" edition of Not Alone Series!

In what ways are you thankful?! Write about anything you want under this theme. Do you have any family traditions that help you to be mindful of the blessings in your life?

Yesterday I posted my list of some things I'm thankful for. Today I'll share some traditions from my family. First, though, will you join me in a moment of prayer for the city of Ferguson and our nation? Jesus, please comfort those who mourn and bring peace to those who are angry, and help us find a solution that is a win for everyone and brings glory to You. 

Traditions: my family likes to go around the table and say something they are thankful for - I know, how cheesy and sentimental and awesome, all at the same time. We also will play a game after the meal: dominoes, hand & foot, UNO, etc.

My family is pretty fantastic, and I am so thankful for them!

Not Alone Series: Prayer

It's Tuesday again! Joining the link-up hosted by the wonderful Morgan at Follow and Believe & Jen at Jumping in Puddles. 

How do you pray at home? Do you have a special place in your house? How do you make that area special? Comfy chair? Prayer cards? What suggestions do you have to make a home alter? If you don't do this, in what ways can you begin?

Laura shared a picture of her bed, and I'm tempted to do the same. When I wake up, sometimes I turn on a chapter of the Gospels to listen to as I get ready will myself out of bed. I'll pray in my bathroom while I get ready for the day, especially for friends when they need it.

I also pray in the car, and not just the "God, help me" as I avoid stupid drivers. I pray for the future and about decisions and problems and people. 

At night, I'm back on my bed, journalling. It is my goal to journal at least 3 times a week, but that has not always been my habit. I love journalling my conversation with God, and it's awesome to look back and see what God has done in response to specific scenarios and prayers.

I really like what my roomie Catherine said about prayer: God is not a genie, and the Psalms are a great place to look for "templates" for prayer.

Thank you, Jen and Morgan, for these prayer accountability partners! I'm excited for that, because who does not need more prayer in their life? 

Amen! :)

Not Alone Series: Help!

Holycowit'sTuesday.Whew! Linking up with Morgan at Follow and Believe and Jen at Jumping in Puddles for this week's Not Alone Series.

What ways do you run to implore the Lord's help when you are struggling? Do you always spend time in Adoration? Do you dive into the Bible? Automatically go to Confession? Could you be better? How? And what about those times when things are good and you are joyous? Do you still give the Lord your time?

Yesterday... Monday from hell, friends. In the office and in my community, it was a horrendous day. Was I asking Jesus for help, wisdom, direction, peace? That would be a hell yes. Was I still frustrated and sad and hurt and angry? Another hell yes.

As much as I would have loved to sit down and pray quietly for several minutes {or days}, that wasn't an option. Work still has to be done, the world still turns, and sometimes your sister's car breaks down and you end up skipping Zumba to give her a ride. As Forrest Gump says about bad things in life, "It happens."

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K now let's be really real. I have lots of room for improvement in the Scripture-reading and praying departments. My default exclamation is four letters long, which is too short for "Praise God!" My first thought when something goes wrong is "ugh," not "Jesus, help me." And when something goes right, it takes far too long for me to remember to thank God. 

Am I getting better? I hope so. Do I have an action plan? That will be one of my goals for 2015, but I am not going to wait 6 weeks to start adjusting my reactions. Help me out here, blogging friends - how do you change your defaults?

Not Alone Series: Good Ol' Deal Breakers

Linking up with the faithful Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe!

We have chatted about our deal breakers/non-negotiables before, but how do you keep from letting your standards fall? What prevents you from just dating any guy out there? What keeps you going?

Can we get real for this post? How many of us make this face when a TDH walks in?

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Like, wowza. I would totally make that face if Benedict was in my vicinity, lezbihonest. 

But hold the phone - does that TDH love Jesus? Because no matter how cute he is, cuteness is not going to sustain a relationship for any amount of time. And neither does niceness or money or sweet wheels or a rocking job or a vacation home in Spain. Jesus is the best foundation for any relationship, and really the only One upon which I want to build a marriage. 

My list of deal breakers is pretty short, and so is my list of keeping up standards. It's all pretty simple, really. 

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What about you? Join the conversation and the link-up over at Jen's. 

Not Alone Series: Discernment

It's Tuesday again! The link-up party is hosted by the ever-fabulous Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe.

We all agree that discernment is challenging. Figuring out what the Lord is calling you to do with your life can be frustrating and exhausting. But, then add on lack of family support, cultural pressures, and your personal expectations... ugh. And, this isn't just in relation to vocational discernment, but general life discernment, too! How do you keep going? What helps you to push through? How can we encourage one another? What indicators have you experienced that lets you know you're going down the right path?

I think the best way to answer this is to review some Scriptures that talk about God and our plans:

The plans of the heart belong to man, 

but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.

Proverbs 16:1

For I know the plans I have for you, 

declares the Lord, 

plans for welfare and not for evil, 

to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

God knows the plan for my life, because, uh, He came up with the plan. So God is directing my steps because He can see the end from the beginning {Revelation 22:13} and I can barely remember what I wore last week. 

So God knows where my life is headed, but how do I know? How do I go about living this life when I don't know where I'm going to end up? 

This question used to bug me... and by "bug me" I really mean keep me up all night worrying about Big Life Decisions. 

I would lie awake for hours thinking about all the things that I could see myself doing and wondering how to cram it all in to one life and wondering what degree I should get so that I could pursue as many career paths as possible and then I thought about meeting a man and naming our kids {at one point, I had a boy name and a girl name starting with every letter of the alphabet... just in case.} and worrying about how I would teach ballet and homeschool my children and travel the world and start an orphanage and live on a horse ranch and and and. On and on it went, and I would get more and more worked up each time I thought about Big Life Decisions.  

Then I got some sleep and realized that God is in control and that there is a very good reason for Him to be able to see beginning to end and for me to not be able to see past next week. I learned that I can trust Him, really truly trust Jesus with my life, and, like Mr. Incredible yells says, "We'll get there when we get there!"

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That was a really roundabout way of getting to this part: when I'm faced with A Big Life Decision, it's ok. I already know that the outcome is going to be good because God is in control. I don't really want to start a free will vs predestination discussion, so I will simply say that I believe God is good, no matter what, and He works all things together for the good of those who love Him {Romans 8:28}.

Shall we get nitty-gritty for just a paragraph? When faced with A Big Life Decision, I pray. I consider my options. I ask my parents, my discipler, my friends {when appropriate}, for their opinions. I wait - no haste on Big Life Decisions! One of the things I specifically pray for is that my parents and discipler and I will all be in agreement, because that is really powerful. 

When I was considering going to Kentucky for the rest of my degree, I prayed that my parents and I would all hear the same answer, and we did and off I went. 

A few months ago, I was praying about a move, and my parents and I did not hear the same thing. I waited a bit longer, and suddenly things changed that made staying the right answer. 

Personally, the most important part of making A Big Life Decision is the peace that comes with an answer. Even when the answer doesn't make sense for there to be peace, like moving across the country to go to a random little school filled with Southern strangers, I was completely at peace in the way only Christ can provide. Sure, I was nervous as hell, but deeper, there was peace that surpassed understanding {Philippians 4:7}.

Whew, this is way longer than I anticipated. Like, way longer. If you are still reading, way to go! How do you discern God's will for your life? Join the conversation!

NAS: Oh, You Know, Sex...

Linking up with the fabulous Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe.

Our culture is obsessed with sex. With anyone! At anytime! If you want to, just do it! But, the Church teaches that sex was created for the context of marriage. Why do you choose to abstain? Why aren't you going around having sex with just anyone? How would you encourage others to do the same? How do you remain strong when everything in our culture is encouraging you to abandon your convictions?

Oh golly. Welcome to the fun house, kids.

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There are a multitude of reasons I'm not sleeping around: STDs, heartbreak, germs, safety, etc., but the biggest reason is pretty simple: Jesus tells me to wait till marriage. He's not depriving me of something awesome; He is asking me to wait so I can fully enjoy it. Like dessert after a meal or a refreshing shower after a workout, that level of physical intimacy requires certain steps to be taken before it can be enjoyed.

Depending on who I'm talking to, I'd encourage people to save sex for someone they are truly committed to for the long haul. Let's get to a point where we're not sleeping with any cutie who looks our way. Once we're at the commitment step, let's talk marriage.

We have to be on the same page about these facts of life, like how deeply bonding the act of sex is, and how commitment should be the priority. Once these assumptions are made, then the aspect of marriage can be brought up.

Ok, the staying strong part is somewhat easy for me right now since I'm not in a relationship with anyone with whom I deeply desire to sleep with. Also, I can be a teensy bit dramatic and don't mind telling people that I've never been kissed... which basically rules out everything else. People are shocked, and while there is some incredulity, there is also a bit of respect {I hope!}. And amazingly, once my {lack of a} love life is out in the open, other people find me and tell me that they are in the same boat, so we become friends and I feel slightly less crazy.

And on that note, let's call it a Happy Tuesday. Thanks for joining, friends!

Not Alone Series: Modesty

It's Tuesday, which means Not Alone Series time! Linking up with Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe.

Continuing our reflections about our make-up routines, let's chat about modesty! What does modesty mean to you? Does it just involve the clothes you wear and how you wear them? What about the things you say or do? In what ways can we improve our overall modesty?

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, 

holy and beloved, compassionate hearts,

 kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 

bearing with one another and, 

if one has a complaint against another,

 forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you,

 so you also must forgive.

 And above all these put on love,

 which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,

 to which indeed you were called in one body.

 And be thankful.

Colossians 3:12-15

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Clothe yourselves, all of you,

 with humility toward one another,

for “God opposes the proud 

but gives grace to the humble.”

1 Peter 5:5

Let's start with clothes. Clothing is important. I'm a big fan of clothes! When I think of dressing modestly, I think of honor and respect. Am I honoring God, myself, my family, the place I'm going, with my clothing? When I wear business-casual clothes to the office, I'm showing respect to my employers and my work. When I wear a little bit dressier of clothes to church, I'm honoring God with the effort. 

What about our attitudes? The above Scripture verses refer to several character qualities with which we should "clothe" ourselves. Modesty can be emulating these characteristics and pointing others to Christ with our words and actions. 

Obviously this is a very, very shallow look at an extremely complex issue, but hopefully we're are starting conversations. Thanks for hosting, Jen and Morgan, and see you next week!

Not Alone Series: Mary

It's Tuesday, which means I'm linking up with Jen from Jumping in Puddles and Morgan from Follow and Believe.

October is dedicated to the Holy Rosary, so we wanted to honor Mary and reflect on her help during this time of singleness. How have you called on her intercession before? What is your relationship with our Blessed Mother like? If you don't know much about Mary or the Rosary, is there something keeping you from getting to know her?

I'm going to tweak this post just a bit, because, um, #ProtestantProblems ;) But just because I don't say the rosary doesn't mean I can't learn from Mary, so let's start with her most well-known Scripture:

In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”

“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called[b] the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.”

 “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.

Luke 1:26-38

I think my favorite part of this text is when Mary asks Gabriel how this whole conception and pregnancy thing is going to work, and the angel answers her so gently, which tells me that her question was not asked with sarcasm or disbelief. 

I'm pretty sure if an angel were to appear before me and tell me something as crazy and unbelievable as Mary's news, my response would be, "yeah, right!" But Mary trusts the Lord and simply asks how His plans are going to transpire. 

Also, I love how immediately Mary says yes to God. Gabriel tells her the what and the how, and Mary accepts it, totally and completely. Lord, let my trust in You grow to be like Mary's!

Not Alone Series: Make-up

Hi friends! Wow, it's Tuesday already - jeepers! Time to join to link-up fun with Jen from Jumping in Puddles and Morgan from Follow and Believe.

What are your thoughts on wearing make-up? Do you see a tension between a pressure from society and a God-given desire to be and make life beautiful? Is your use of make-up compatible with the idea that God sees you as naturally beautiful?

Really quickly, a friend shared this article today and I thought it was very appropriate! Thoughts?

Oh golly. I'll be honest and take the heat/credit, depending on how you look at it - this prompt was my idea. This is a question that has been tickling at my mind and heart for a while, and I'm still not sure how to answer it. There are a few stepping stone conclusions I've reached, but the path keeps going beyond my line of sight. As Tilly from "Miranda" would say, "bear with!"

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So. Make-up. Stepping stones. I'm a bullet-point kind of gal, so here is the bullet-point list of what I know that I know:

• God made me, and He didn't make mistakes when He made me. I hesitantly think that the logical conclusion is that He thinks I'm beautiful.
• I like feeling beautiful.
• Feeling beautiful doesn't come solely from wearing make-up {or wearing certain clothes, but that's a separate post}. Make-up can help me feel dressed up, which usually means there's an occasion for which I want to feel beautiful, but make-up does not make {ha! pun!} or break my beautiful-o-meter.
• There is definitely a pressure from society for women to be beautiful. Society's standard of beauty a) has evolved over the years, b) is photo-shopped, and c) is profit-driven. I think women wanting to be beautiful has been exploited by advertisers, and the market has changed from enhancing natural beauty to changing your body to meet society's standard.
• As much as I want my outward person to be beautiful, the inner person matters more. My character will shine brighter than any lip gloss, or it will be duller than unconditioned hair. 

Did anyone find a clear conclusion among those stepping stones? Me neither. But the path is leading in a good direction, I believe, so we'll just keep walking down this path.

My make-up routine is really basic, and it gets even more basic on weekends. I put some shadow and liner on my eyes, and a bit of concealer under my eyes and maybe elsewhere if a zit demands. Sometimes I wear mascara; sometimes not. I put chap-stick on at night after I brush my teeth, and I brush with toothpaste and baking soda. It's a good day when I remember to apply body spray. 

I think the most important aspect of make-up for me is making sure I'm comfortable without it. As long as make-up is a choice for me, then everything is alright.

When I was deathly ill sick on the couch on Sunday, my friend Rebecca came over to deliver some orange juice {she is so great!}. I had moved from my bed to the couch, period. No hair brush, no face wash, no daytime clothing, nothing! And it was absolutely fine {part of this nonchalance is probably due to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, that breathing comes before being beautiful, but whatevs!}. Both my inner and outer person are made beautifully, and that's what counts. 

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Not Alone Series: Dating vs. Courtship

{I'm writing this on an airplane as my fellow passengers find their seats. My company has a conference in Texas, so hi-ho, hi-ho, off to The Great Nation of Texas I go.}

It might be easy to say that the pursuit of marriage is the purpose of dating (aka courtship). But, that's not how our culture views dating. Does viewing the person you're dating as a potential spouse add unnecessary pressure on the relationship? In your opinion, is there a difference between dating and courtship? If so, what are those differences?

Wowza, what a great question! I really love this - good job, Jen and Morgan!

Short answer, since I'm on a plane and got up at 3:30 this morning: I wouldn't date anyone that I couldn't see myself marrying. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't go on a date with someone unless I knew he was The One, but I wouldn't go out with him unless there was a possibility. 

That being said, I think considering someone an "option" is different than considering that person The One. I think some NAS girls have mentioned Cindy's "3 Date Rule," and I really appreciate it (that is, if I'm thinking of the right rule!). Go out with a guy if he asks and you're interested, but don't start a relationship with him unless he is an actual option for a husband.

Personally, I feel pressure on myself to know my list of character qualities I'm looking for, because a guy can be really fun and awesome and interested, but if he lacks my non-negotiables, I couldn't enter into a relationship with him. 

That's all I've got, folks. Join Jen and Morgan for the link-up!

Not Alone Series: Online Dating

Linking up with Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe - join the fun!

Not all of us have jumped into the world of online dating, but many of us have! What are those things that we should AND that we shouldn't do?! If someone you know is considering online dating, how would you encourage him/her? What advice do you have?

Well, I fall into that very first category of "haven't jumped" and so I inquired as to a prompt for those in my boat. Morgan suggested I share why I haven't jumped in, my perceptions, if I know anyone else who's tried it, etc. So here goes.

I have not tried online dating, and I am not saying that I never will. I know several people who married someone they met online, and I know other people who haven't had good experiences. We all know people who love it and people who hate it, don't we?

Right now, online dating not something I want to do, but I've taken the goal of online dating {meeting new people} and looked for other ways to accomplish that goal. How do I meet new people? I have to try new things!

With that in mind, I've attempted to be more open about new adventures. When my new flatmate said she was going ballroom dancing with some people from her work, I joined her {and had a blast!}. When my friend says she wants to go to a different church's hang-out, I put it on my calendar and join her {it's still on the calendar}. When I'm at Notions and there are new people, I hand them some apple crisp and introduce myself {surest way to make new friends: feed them!}.

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I say that the goal of online dating is to make new friends, which maybe is a little strange. Personally, having new friends as my goal keeps things simple and helps me not focus so much on a relationship status. My focus is not on "finding a husband" but rather on building relationships with the people God connects me to, and right now that means being willing to try new things and meet new people. 

What's your online dating experience? Would you recommend it, based on your own experience or a friend's?

Not Alone Series: Chivalry

Linking up with the marvelous Jen from Jumping In Puddles and Morgan from Follow and Believe!

Chivalry should not become a lost art and we, as women, ought to step up to the plate a bit more and encourage men to treat us as women, thereby respecting them as men. Do you have tips, ideas, or stories to encourage men to be... men?! Open doors for us, initiate dates, honor us as women, etc? Let's chat!

Hmm. This is a great conversation to start, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to dialogue about it a bit. That being said, I imagine that this is going to be an ongoing conversation with lots of growth and adjustments, and we will probably come to a variety of conclusions multiple times.

Right now, I am concentrating on being respectful of people, men and women. This means not participating in sexist jokes, comments, or mindsets. I'm not going to say someone can or should do something simply because of their gender; my goal is to be respectful of people because we are all made in the image of God. Below are some ways we can show respect to both men and women:

Listen without dismissing - I'm sure we've all experienced it: we're talking about something we care about, and someone else listens for 2 seconds and then rolls his or her eyes and leaves the conversation.  You're passionate about the Seahawks and I barely remember which sport they play, but that doesn't give me an excuse to dismiss the topic as stupid or uninteresting. It's interesting to you, so I should be considerate and respectful and ask you questions {and you should be considerate of me and not mock my lack of knowledge}.

Encourage those around you - If someone is kind, considerate, awesome, generous, or something else that gives you warm fuzzy feelings, tell them! Encouragement and gratitude are a huge part of showing respect, because you're recognizing and acknowledging people's gifts and strengths, and maybe even their weaknesses that are growing into strengths.

Laugh with, not at - Although sarcasm may be in vogue, and although it can be rather humorous, continually putting someone down just for laughs is not cool. Make yourself the butt of a joke, or change the tone so that everyone laughs at wit, not individuals. Even gentle teasing gets old after a while, so make sure that your jokes and barbs are uplifting.

What do you think? How can we be more respectful of the people around us?