Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Not Alone Series: Deal Breakers

Linking up with Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe.

{Before we jump into this week's prompt, give me two seconds to toot my own horn. Today I wrote a guest post for Victoria's blog. Care to read something short and humorous? {And I'm not just saying that - it really is both short and humorous, like me!} Head her way!}

We have all thought about our list of qualities for a future spouse {or maybe religious community}, but those things can be pretty limiting on who God has planned for you. Instead, think about the few things that are so important to you that if a guy you were considering dating {or a community you were entering} didn't have these things, you would have to move on. Why are these things important to you?

Alright, you caught me. I have a list. It's a list that I made several times during my angsty and anxious teens, and then a couple more times as a wise {cough} college freshman. And since that time, I've not really looked at it. I know what's on it. God knows what's on it. These character traits that I seek in a husband are really beyond my control, so I don't worry about them. God know what I need even better than that list does, and I'd definitely rather have God bring the man He has for me than someone who can check off everything on the list.

That being said, there are a few things that Mr. TDH needs to have going on before he's considered.  My pastor called these non-negotiables, and that's how I think of them. There are the traits that are absolutely non-negotiable and there are things that are negotiable. Because I don't know where God is going to lead me/us, I don't want to limit Him with my lists. The things on my list are important, but trusting God is more important, and the most important item on my list is a relationship with Jesus. No close relationship with Jesus = no close relationship with Bek.

A group of gals went through the book Lady In Waiting last summer, and while the book was cheesy {SO cheesy!}, some great discussions came from it, and our fearless and lovely leader encouraged us to ask ourselves how we are preparing to be excellent wives. Am I learning skills and character qualities that my TDH will be looking for, or am I just focusing on what I want in him? That's a convicting thought, and something I pray about regularly.

That's all, folks! Thanks for reading, and be sure to show our hostesses some link-up love.


  1. haha... no close relationship with Jesus = no close relationship with Bek! LOVE THAT! bahaha.

    Um... what does TDH stand for? I feel like I should know this...

  2. I thought "Lady in Waiting" was super cheesy too!! :) I ditto what Jen said about the 'no close relationship w/Jesus= no close relationship with Bek' - so great!! :)

    1. Glad I wasn't the only one, Joan!
      Thanks for stopping by! :)

  3. I agree with everyone else "No close relationship with Jesus = no close relationship with Bek." is great. TDH = Tall, Dark and Handsome right?

    1. Thanks, Niki! Yup, Tall Dark and Handsome :)