Tuesday, October 21, 2014

NAS: Oh, You Know, Sex...

Linking up with the fabulous Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe.

Our culture is obsessed with sex. With anyone! At anytime! If you want to, just do it! But, the Church teaches that sex was created for the context of marriage. Why do you choose to abstain? Why aren't you going around having sex with just anyone? How would you encourage others to do the same? How do you remain strong when everything in our culture is encouraging you to abandon your convictions?

Oh golly. Welcome to the fun house, kids.

There are a multitude of reasons I'm not sleeping around: STDs, heartbreak, germs, safety, etc., but the biggest reason is pretty simple: Jesus tells me to wait till marriage. He's not depriving me of something awesome; He is asking me to wait so I can fully enjoy it. Like dessert after a meal or a refreshing shower after a workout, that level of physical intimacy requires certain steps to be taken before it can be enjoyed.

Depending on who I'm talking to, I'd encourage people to save sex for someone they are truly committed to for the long haul. Let's get to a point where we're not sleeping with any cutie who looks our way. Once we're at the commitment step, let's talk marriage.

We have to be on the same page about these facts of life, like how deeply bonding the act of sex is, and how commitment should be the priority. Once these assumptions are made, then the aspect of marriage can be brought up.

Ok, the staying strong part is somewhat easy for me right now since I'm not in a relationship with anyone with whom I deeply desire to sleep with. Also, I can be a teensy bit dramatic and don't mind telling people that I've never been kissed... which basically rules out everything else. People are shocked, and while there is some incredulity, there is also a bit of respect {I hope!}. And amazingly, once my {lack of a} love life is out in the open, other people find me and tell me that they are in the same boat, so we become friends and I feel slightly less crazy.

And on that note, let's call it a Happy Tuesday. Thanks for joining, friends!


  1. Jen @ Jumping in PuddlesOctober 21, 2014 at 7:08 PM

    haha... you always make me laugh. :)

    You are most definitely NOT crazy! I just love that you are straight to the point. No holds bar (is that the right saying?).

    You know what you believe and you do it. Yes, not being in a relationship right now does make things "easier" but at any point you could just decide to sleep with any dude. And that's a choice you make everyday... and it's awesome!

  2. Glad to provoke a chuckle! :)
    Also, good to hear I'm not crazy. I am always direct but only sometimes crazy ;)

    Thank you for your encouragement, and thank you for hosting this fabulous link-up!! I appreciate you!

  3. Preeeeeeeeeeeach! Such great perspective, Beks. As a married woman with a kid (who clearly has had sex...at least once lol) I can say that sex is, in fact, awesome - but it is not as seamless as the culture at large would have us think. Worldly wisdom tells us that sex out is all fun all the time. If you aren't jumping in bed with someone, you're missing out on the world's greatest amusement park. (See any NFL commercial.) What culture doesn't tell us is that sex takes work. And sometimes, a lot of work. It's not always a top of the mountain experience :)

  4. Andrea Humble RakeOctober 22, 2014 at 9:16 AM

    Good words Victoria!! Truth that isn't always out there. It does take work sometimes so I can only imagine what a "cheap date" a one night stand is. The world has taken the good, the true, and the beautiful thing God created and is selling a lie, an imposter.

  5. I couldn't agree more, Andrea. I've often wondered how painful a 'cheap date' would be, knowing how wonderful sex can be within marriage - but the bonds of marriage is WHAT makes the sex so wonderful. That you know the other person isn't leaving, you can be 'naked and unashamed.' Great thoughts :)

  6. I really like that, Victoria! It's the commitment and security of marriage that really makes sex attractive.

    Thanks for a great discussion, friends! I love having your married perspectives :)

  7. "Jesus tells me to wait." Yes! It reminds me of the famous marshmallow experiment. There's no guarantee that married sex (or two marshmallows) will be better in and of itself, but the commitment that comes from waiting (and the demonstrated ability to abstain when necessary) is critical.

  8. I just heard about the marshmallow experiment - so interesting! And yes, the self control in the waiting says so much about one's character... great point!