Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Not Alone Series: Dating vs. Courtship

{I'm writing this on an airplane as my fellow passengers find their seats. My company has a conference in Texas, so hi-ho, hi-ho, off to The Great Nation of Texas I go.}

It might be easy to say that the pursuit of marriage is the purpose of dating (aka courtship). But, that's not how our culture views dating. Does viewing the person you're dating as a potential spouse add unnecessary pressure on the relationship? In your opinion, is there a difference between dating and courtship? If so, what are those differences?

Wowza, what a great question! I really love this - good job, Jen and Morgan!

Short answer, since I'm on a plane and got up at 3:30 this morning: I wouldn't date anyone that I couldn't see myself marrying. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't go on a date with someone unless I knew he was The One, but I wouldn't go out with him unless there was a possibility. 

That being said, I think considering someone an "option" is different than considering that person The One. I think some NAS girls have mentioned Cindy's "3 Date Rule," and I really appreciate it (that is, if I'm thinking of the right rule!). Go out with a guy if he asks and you're interested, but don't start a relationship with him unless he is an actual option for a husband.

Personally, I feel pressure on myself to know my list of character qualities I'm looking for, because a guy can be really fun and awesome and interested, but if he lacks my non-negotiables, I couldn't enter into a relationship with him. 

That's all I've got, folks. Join Jen and Morgan for the link-up!


  1. I definitely believe that you shouldn't date someone unless you see them as a potential mate. "just for fun" dating isn't an option for me. Have fun, yes, but don't toy with them.

  2. Exactly, Catherine! If someone isn't an option, then let's not waste either of our time or emotions.