Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Not Alone Series: Another Engagement

Do you struggle with balancing the sting of hearing about yet another proposal with genuine excitement? What emotions come into play? What virtues do you enlist to deal with it all?

Am I happy for you and your TDH's {Tall, Dark and Handsome} engagement? Yes, absolutely.

Am I thrilled to bits for you and wish you the very best? Of course.

Will I help you in anyway you ask or need? What are friends for!

Is your ring the prettiest, sparkliest diamond ever? It's divine.

Does your TDH know how to bless you via the way he proposed? You are blessed, friend.

Do I wish that I was engaged? Or even dating? Hell yes!

I think the hardest part about responding to a friend's newly-announced engagement is recognizing that you may feel both genuinely happy for them and bummed for yourself. One emotion does not cancel out the other, and that is where my struggle lies. I wrongly believe that if I am happy for my friend, I won't feel any sadness for me, or vice versa.

I don't think that sadness for your own situation cancels out your joy for you friend. However, the Lord tells us not to envy {Exodus 20; 1 Corinthians 13} and He tells us to be content {Psalm 131:2; Matthew 5:5; Philippians 4:8-14}. Sometimes it feels like I am grieving what isn't {a relationship}, and while in the moment it may seem appropriate, it doesn't proclaim a trust in God.

We are all familiar with Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5, and Psalm 23. I want these verses to go in me deeper than just recitation. I want my default to be trust in the Lord. I want to hear of a friend's engagement with joy for her and a trusting peace for myself.

I love the scripture that Natalie at Here I Am shared. In fact, I love it so much that I'm going to conclude this post with it. His thoughts are not my thoughts, and for that reason alone I trust Him to direct my life in ways that I could never see possible.

Isaiah 55:8-9 ~ "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

Linking up with Jen at Jumping In Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe. Join us!


  1. This is well said, Bek. Thanks for articulating it :)

  2. Hello, Bek! Welcome to the NAS!

    What you said about grieving what could be being a sign of your lack of trust in the Lord is SO true. After all, He knows the plans He has for us...if we truly trusted that He's going to provide, would we be worrying?

    1. Hi Morgan! Thanks for hosting! :)

      Trust is really what it all comes down to, isn't it? If I believe that God is good and has good plans for me, you're exactly right - why would we worry?
      Thanks for stopping by! :)

  3. Bek, I love how you wrote, "I want my default to be trust in the Lord," - I want that too! I feel like how I respond to hearing about new engagements can definitely be affected by how much trust I'm putting into God's hands at that time. For example, on days when I'm trying to be my own little planner, seeing these things makes me feel that sting, but on days when I feel like I'm really trusting, I see these new engagements and get all excited.

    1. Joan, my thoughts exactly! My reaction is affected by how much I'm consciously choosing to trust the Lord.
      Thanks for reading! :)

  4. Thanks so much for the shout out, you have no idea how much joy that brings me! Secondly, I love what you say about the emotions not canceling out-so true!

  5. Thank YOU for sharing the oh-so-appropriate Scripture! Glad it brings you joy :)