What are those things we should be doing and the things we shouldn't be doing? They can be from the physical parts {clothes to wear, places to go, things to say} or emotional parts {talking about it all the time, planning the future, etc.}. We can all learn something in hindsight, so what are your tips to share?
First of all, you should know that I have been on a grand total of one and only one date. It was really fun, but that's all that happened, so yeah. Not Alone Series, thank you for this prompt, because some days {read: today} I really need reminded that I'm not alone!
Do this!
- Do...expect to be treated like a princess. Dates reveal how the gentleman will treat you in the future, so set your expectations high. Does he open doors for you? Did he pay? Does he pay attention to you?
- Do...be flexible. The gentleman who asked me out didn't get his work schedule until a few days before, and then plans got changed after the fact. Roll with the punches!
- Do...ask questions. My friend Laurie and I went through a box of "conversation cards" when we worked together, and I was so glad to have a few unusual questions in my arsenal. If you don't know the gentleman very well, almost any question will spark a conversation {favorite book? education history? relationship with siblings? favorite past-time?}.
Don't do this!
- Don't...be afraid to set conversation boundaries. There are probably some personal details that you feel comfortable sharing, and then there are the details that you aren't comfortable sharing, and that's wonderful. This happened to me: we were having a lovely conversation, but he asked a question that, for me, was sharing too much. I didn't even have to say that I didn't want to answer; the gentleman read the hesitancy in my face and he apologized for asking. I appreciated both his interest in my life and his sensitivity to my boundaries.
- Don't...feel like you have to know if he's The One after the first date. Especially if you're newly acquainted, give the relationship {friendship and friendlier-ship} some time. There are things you may not know about him yet, so don't feel like you have to know after just a few dates.
- Don't...blame yourself if the first date is all that happens. My pastor and high school instructor always said there are three parts of a relationship: the right person in the right way at the right time. Don't force it or freak out if the relationship doesn't have all three parts. I'd rather have God's man in His way at His time than my own efforts.
Thanks again, Morgan and Jen and fellow NAS-ers. This community and your support means so much. I thank God for you!