Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Not Alone Series: Dating Dos and Don'ts

Joining the link-up fun with Jen at Jumping in Puddles and Morgan at Follow and Believe. Shout-out to my good friend Dahlia who also joined the link-up this week!


What are those things we should be doing and the things we shouldn't be doing? They can be from the physical parts {clothes to wear, places to go, things to say} or emotional parts {talking about it all the time, planning the future, etc.}. We can all learn something in hindsight, so what are your tips to share?

First of all, you should know that I have been on a grand total of one and only one date. It was really fun, but that's all that happened, so yeah. Not Alone Series, thank you for this prompt, because some days {read: today} I really need reminded that I'm not alone!

Do this!
  • Do...expect to be treated like a princess. Dates reveal how the gentleman will treat you in the future, so set your expectations high. Does he open doors for you? Did he pay? Does he pay attention to you?
  • Do...be flexible. The gentleman who asked me out didn't get his work schedule until a few days before, and then plans got changed after the fact. Roll with the punches!
  • Do...ask questions. My friend Laurie and I went through a box of "conversation cards" when we worked together, and I was so glad to have a few unusual questions in my arsenal. If you don't know the gentleman very well, almost any question will spark a conversation {favorite book? education history? relationship with siblings? favorite past-time?}.
Don't do this!
  • Don't...be afraid to set conversation boundaries. There are probably some personal details that you feel comfortable sharing, and then there are the details that you aren't comfortable sharing, and that's wonderful. This happened to me: we were having a lovely conversation, but he asked a question that, for me, was sharing too much. I didn't even have to say that I didn't want to answer; the gentleman read the hesitancy in my face and he apologized for asking. I appreciated both his interest in my life and his sensitivity to my boundaries.
  • Don't...feel like you have to know if he's The One after the first date. Especially if you're newly acquainted, give the relationship {friendship and friendlier-ship} some time. There are things you may not know about him yet, so don't feel like you have to know after just a few dates.
  • Don't...blame yourself if the first date is all that happens. My pastor and high school instructor always said there are three parts of a relationship: the right person in the right way at the right time. Don't force it or freak out if the relationship doesn't have all three parts. I'd rather have God's man in His way at His time than my own efforts. 

Thanks again, Morgan and Jen and fellow NAS-ers. This community and your support means so much. I thank God for you!

14 comments:

  1. Love this, Rebekah. And you've beat me...I've never been on a date. :-P

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    1. Glad you like this, Catherine!
      And there's no beating here... we are all in different places on our journey of life {cue some Lion King music here, please} :)

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    2. Ahem...from the day we arrive on the plaaaaanet....

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  2. "Do...expect to be treated like a princess." You hit the nail on the head! I've always mulled over whether or not my preferences to be treated as such are a result of spoiling, or altogether too old-fashioned for the modern man. Thank you for the encouragement!

    You are such a sweet girl! I'm so happy I found your blog :) God bless you!

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    1. Thanks, Sarah! Glad I could encourage you, and thanks for stopping by! God bless!

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  3. OOooo, I like your point about questions! I feel like that's something I could work on a lot in general with all sorts of people :-)

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    1. Thanks, Laura! I really liked the conversation cards with my co-worker, and I try to pull them out now when I meet someone new :)

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  4. "Do...expect to be treated like a princess." This..Love, Love, Love!!!

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  5. You had really good tips. Much better than mine! I really liked your don't about knowing if he was "the one" after the first date. I totally agree. It's going to take awhile to decide if he is the one or not.

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    1. Thanks, Beth Anne! I'm so glad you liked these tips :)

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  6. Great stuff, Bek! I am with you (along with the other girls, it seems) about the "treating like a princess thing." You are right, it has nothing to do with spoiling! It has everything to do with respect and being seen as a beloved! :)

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  7. This is just beautiful! Such wonderful advice. Oh, and I'm with you on the whole one date thus far boat! *high five*

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    1. Thanks, Claire! Glad you stopped by! *high five back* :)

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