Ponderings

Yesterday was a party celebrating my grandpa's 90th birthday. His birthday is tomorrow, but Saturdays are just better for parties, you know?

My grandpa has Alzheimer's. He gets confused, and forgets conversations and other things. It was a lovely party yesterday, and a lot of friends and relatives came to celebrate. 2 of Grandpa's nephews surprised him and came from across the country! I was glad all these people could come and celebrate, but in a way, it almost felt like a goodbye, and I'm not sure how to process that. It wasn't officially "farewell," of course, because he's still alive! But with his mind going before his body, I know that the Grandpa I grew up with is leaving me.

I'm glad all the family and friends could come and see him, and I'm really glad that he recognized and remembered everyone! There was just a sense, or a sense of a sense, of goodbyes being said. I'm sure that could be said of ANY 90th birthday party, especially with so many far-away relatives, but it felt different this time. Maybe it's because I live close to my grandpa, and because my dad is his son and there's the responsibility that comes with that. I don't know.

All I know is that it's hard to mourn someone when they're still here...yet at the same time, not. I don't know how to explain it, but I hope that you will pray for my family, especially my grandma and my dad, as they are the primary caregivers for my grandpa. Thank you.