Musings

Do you ever have those moments where you just have to write? Do some things just move you to inspiration, to strive for something more than just the obvious? Sometimes it takes just a little jolt and I'll realize that I need to do a certain thing a different way, or begin again those things I had set aside. Tonight I watched Bright Star, and when I came upstairs and was studying for finals, I could feel my brain move into poetic mode. And then the rain came, a glorious, heavy, soaking, enchanting and entrancing rain came. It thundered upon my roof, and I turned off my worship music to let Him conduct. Oh, it was beautiful. I wish I had appreciated it longer.

Today, I realized that Jesus is totally and completely head over heels in love with me. And I realized again that I want to fall head over heels in love with Him. Nothing, no one else satisfies, or even comes close. HE is the only thing that comes remotely close to closing the void in my soul. His arms wrap around me and pull me so close I can't breathe...and then we breathe together, and it is like my first breath. He whispers my name, and it's like no one else has ever said my name before. He declares His passionate love for me, and I'm a goner.

It's like a scene from some movie where the character has a flashback, and she's standing still and everything else moves in fast-motion behind her and away from her, until all we can see is the look of astonishment on her face. That's how I feel when He tells me He loves me. Everything else in my mind and life fades instantly, and I am alone with Him. It happens every time, no matter where I am. I could be on the bus, or in class, or in the middle of a conversation, and He says, "I adore you, Beloved," and it's like the pause button was pressed and I have to catch my breath and blink a few times to return to this present reality. I think I'm falling in love...