Friday, October 2, 2015

31 Days of Something

Throughout the blogosphere, people are starting 31 Days of Writing projects. It's another sign of autumn, right, these 31 days? Get your pumpkin spice latte and write every day for a month.

October 1st sort of snuck up on me this year. I mean, it was a Thursday. Bridesmaid duties had kept me focused on Saturday the 26th, and I wasn't really aware of anything after that date. But here we are, and I'm trying to think of a topic upon which to pour out thoughts for 31 days, and the only cohesive theme that seems to permeate life right now is how everything. is. changing.

And while change is a part of life, this season of change has felt especially difficult to swallow. It is taking me longer to accept new things and reconcile The Way Things Were Before with The Way Things Are Now. This is both a mental and a physical challenge; my weekly schedule is completely different, and I am nothing if not a creature of routine.

I could make a list of all the things in my life that are changing, but I'm afraid that the list would turn into an angry rant about why certain things have changed and why certain things shouldn't change. Mostly I'm afraid that I would write a list and then curl into a sobbing mess on the floor.

Life is so hard sometimes.

There's no neat and tidy way to conclude this; life is difficult especially in the middle of change, and that's where I'm at. I don't have a conclusion or a point to make; I just have my struggles and my confession that I won't be writing every day this month. I will be reading others' struggles, like Micah J. Murray's becoming human series and my dear friend Carla's journey of grieving her stillborn daughter Cora. I will be reading and nodding my head and aching and crying right along with these people, because I am human and I am grieving and life is hard. 

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