Not Alone Series: Make-up

Hi friends! Wow, it's Tuesday already - jeepers! Time to join to link-up fun with Jen from Jumping in Puddles and Morgan from Follow and Believe.

What are your thoughts on wearing make-up? Do you see a tension between a pressure from society and a God-given desire to be and make life beautiful? Is your use of make-up compatible with the idea that God sees you as naturally beautiful?

Really quickly, a friend shared this article today and I thought it was very appropriate! Thoughts?

Oh golly. I'll be honest and take the heat/credit, depending on how you look at it - this prompt was my idea. This is a question that has been tickling at my mind and heart for a while, and I'm still not sure how to answer it. There are a few stepping stone conclusions I've reached, but the path keeps going beyond my line of sight. As Tilly from "Miranda" would say, "bear with!"

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So. Make-up. Stepping stones. I'm a bullet-point kind of gal, so here is the bullet-point list of what I know that I know:

• God made me, and He didn't make mistakes when He made me. I hesitantly think that the logical conclusion is that He thinks I'm beautiful.
• I like feeling beautiful.
• Feeling beautiful doesn't come solely from wearing make-up {or wearing certain clothes, but that's a separate post}. Make-up can help me feel dressed up, which usually means there's an occasion for which I want to feel beautiful, but make-up does not make {ha! pun!} or break my beautiful-o-meter.
• There is definitely a pressure from society for women to be beautiful. Society's standard of beauty a) has evolved over the years, b) is photo-shopped, and c) is profit-driven. I think women wanting to be beautiful has been exploited by advertisers, and the market has changed from enhancing natural beauty to changing your body to meet society's standard.
• As much as I want my outward person to be beautiful, the inner person matters more. My character will shine brighter than any lip gloss, or it will be duller than unconditioned hair. 

Did anyone find a clear conclusion among those stepping stones? Me neither. But the path is leading in a good direction, I believe, so we'll just keep walking down this path.

My make-up routine is really basic, and it gets even more basic on weekends. I put some shadow and liner on my eyes, and a bit of concealer under my eyes and maybe elsewhere if a zit demands. Sometimes I wear mascara; sometimes not. I put chap-stick on at night after I brush my teeth, and I brush with toothpaste and baking soda. It's a good day when I remember to apply body spray. 

I think the most important aspect of make-up for me is making sure I'm comfortable without it. As long as make-up is a choice for me, then everything is alright.

When I was deathly ill sick on the couch on Sunday, my friend Rebecca came over to deliver some orange juice {she is so great!}. I had moved from my bed to the couch, period. No hair brush, no face wash, no daytime clothing, nothing! And it was absolutely fine {part of this nonchalance is probably due to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, that breathing comes before being beautiful, but whatevs!}. Both my inner and outer person are made beautifully, and that's what counts. 

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Thinking About...

...how it's been a while since I wrote a non-link-up post. And then I was sick for 4 days and am still not feeling 100%, so we'll ease back into normality with a post of half-sentences of what I'm thinking about these days.

...Yvonne and my upcoming blog swap about friendship.

...what a joy it is to read a big, heavy book about one of my favorite people... almost 200 pages in to Team of Rivals!

...feminism and its many facets. Been reading a bunch of Her.meneutics articles, not all about feminism per se, but about women's issues {like this one about some Downton Abbey shtuff and this one about Lena Dunhum}. I'm really looking forward to the day Jesus Feminist comes in at the library.

...how amazingly awesome and scary it is to be an adult.

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...Lent. Technically I'm behind on my note-writing commitment, but I think that my perfectionism needs to die and so I'm not going to worry about it. 

...napping. Being sick is no fun, but napping certainly helps. Thursday, I didn't go to work; at 7:30 in the morning, I called my mom to tell her I was sick, and then I went back to sleep...until 11! It was glorious.

...autism. I'm listening to Temple Grandin's book The Autistic Brain in my car, and I must confess that I find it all fascinating. If you want to be inspired, watch the movie "Temple Grandin" or read one of her biographies {a couple of them are on my to-read list}.

...introverts and extroverts. Samara's boss loaned her Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking and she administered the quiz at the beginning of the book. Of 20 true-or-false questions {"true" indicates introverted tendencies, "false" indicates extroverted tendencies}, I answered "true" approximately five times. I say approximately because there were a couple questions that were half-ish, so I combined them for one point. This book is on my to-read list also.

That's all my sick brain can think about on this overcast Monday. Peace out, yo. 

Not Alone Series: Beauty

What does authentic beauty mean to you and how can you be better at accepting or believing that you are, in fact, beautiful?

First of all, I want to share this wonderful perspective from a mom. I will definitely be needing that someday!

Now onto the nitty gritties of my personal thoughts.

All morning I thought about this question, and since the point of this series is, I think, to force yourself to be brutally honest so that you can recognize that everyone else has those brutally-honest-but-totally-secret thoughts {run-on sentence points, please}, I'm going to be brutally honest. Whew. 

Authentic beauty encompasses much more than physical beauty. No, this is not a pass or "get out of talking about fore-mentioned brutally honest thoughts" line. I'll come back to the physical beauty right after this rabbit trail. 

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Call me morbid, but I've been thinking recently about how after someone passes away, you refer to their physical form as "John Doe's body." The body does not house John Doe anymore; John Doe is more than his physical body. It is his body, but he, the essence of his personhood, is no longer present in the body. Does that make any sense?

I think the same principle applies with beauty. Part of beauty is captured by physical features, but not all of it. Authentic beauty constitutes {including but not limited to} physical attributes, character qualities, and spiritual aspects. Someone can have beautiful eyes, a beautiful listening heart, and a beautiful relationship with Jesus. Authentic beauty is comprised of aspects of humanity, and physicality is a part of that.

That's all very nice, Bek, but let's get physical {not a euphemism!} already.

Alright. My brutally honest thoughts? Physical beauty is something I struggle to own and know. I don't always feel beautiful, meaning that most mornings I get up and look in the mirror...and sigh, because what on earth am I going to do with my hair? and why can't my make-up look as good as {insert anyone here}'s? and good lord I need to whiten my teeth and on and on it goes. Some days I feel good, like when my hair decides to work with me instead of against me, and when make-up brings out the blue in my eyes. Some days it is easier to believe I'm beautiful, and some days are hard. 

That's why the holistic definition of authentic beauty is so appealing sometimes, because it reminds me that beauty is not simply talking about my physical traits. But on the other hand, it can be really discouraging; it feels like a cop-out. "I'm not physically beautiful, but I make some bomb brownies" is not always what I want to hear. 

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There are two things that encourage me when I'm feeling bleh. First, I know that God made me and that He did not nor does not call me a mistake. He says I'm beautiful, and that pretty much takes care of that. Secondly, there are other women I see who would not be called drop-dead gorgeous by our culture's standards. But their husbands love them and look at them as if they are Heidi Klum. I look forward to being beautiful to one man, and I know that my eyes and heart and soul will see him as the most handsome man on the earth. 

So there you have it! Hopefully my brutally honest thoughts remind you that you are not alone. I'm grateful to Jen and Morgan for hosting this series {here's the link-up}; this has been really, really amazing to process your questions.

Too Personal

As I mentioned on Monday, I kinda fell off the blogging bandwagon for a bit. Part of it really was due to the class and the long hours and sheer exhaustion...and part of it was due to some "IRL" stuff that I'm processing. Ashley said it well a few weeks ago, that some things are better processed in journals than on blogs.

So I'm journal-ing my fingers to the bone - ha! It's funny how you have to learn to type until eventually you type faster than write, and suddenly you want your fingers to go back and remember how to write with speed...yeah, not really happening.

I'm sorry for neglecting you, little blog and dear readers. It seems that all I can think of is this deeply personal situation; life is filtered through this lens, and it's hard to think of something to share here. Feeling hypocritical now, because I've talked with several friends about the matter and ended up reading from my journal in the course of the conversation, but still it seems too personal to post, to publish for all eternity and any curious eye to see. Again, I apologize, and I hope to process my way through this stage of life soon.

In the meantime, here are some things that make me smile. I don't think it's possible to smile too much, do you? Even when life is hard, smiling makes things better.

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Have a lovely Thursday!

Thanks for the Moral Support

Well, friends, thank you for all your support and encouragement. Samara and I have been recovering from our intruder the other day, and I think we're gonna make it. ;)

Since school has started/is starting soon {depending on your age and location}, I started thinking about my goals for this year. Am I even close to accomplishing them? Well, let's take a look-see...

Goals for 2013 {original post}:

1. Blog twice a week
2. Blog stories of depth as well as humor
3. Become healthier through adjusted food intake and increased activity
4. Travel to Prince Edward Island with Dahlia

How am I doing? *moment of soul searching...*

I'm pretty sure that I've been faithful with Numeral Uno. So far I've posted 81 times this year, which is an average of 2.18 times over the past 37 weeks of 2013. {Side note: we have approximately 15 weeks left of this year, and less than 100 days until Christmas. Gulp!}

Numeral Dos: I give myself a B on this goal. It seems that there are phases of funny stories and then a bundle of more serious thoughts... probably could go more on the serious side, but I also want to be real with what's going on in my head in the present. 

Onto Numeral Tres...this has had ups and downs. When I lived with my grandparents, it was really strong, for some obvious reasons: my grandparents spoiled me rotten let me eat what I needed and my bedroom had carpet {makes ab exercises kinder on my back}. Coming home was a little weaker. My mom cooks healthier food than my grandparents, but I wasn't exercising as much. And now that I've got my own place, I'm eating less but also exercising less. So...we're getting there. 

Y'all know about the big Numeral Quattro, but in case you've been living under a stupid rock, scroll through the archives and click on anything that says "Travel Journal." Dahlia and I went to PEI in August, and it was one of the highlights of 2013! I highly recommend it to anyone considering such a venture.

So what am I going to do for the rest of 2013? I'm going to continue blogging consistently and frequently, making sure to share my more personal thoughts as well as humorous happenings, and I'm going to implement a regular exercise routine at least twice a week.

Another goal I have for 2013 is to get fully settled into my new home. By the time 2014 rolls around, I want to have pictures on walls and boxes out in recycling. There are also a few little things that I'm looking for, and I'd love to not have a permanent mental shopping list in 15 weeks. 

Another goal I made for myself this year was to read 45 books. So far I've read 30, so Goodreads indicates that I am two books behind schedule, but what do they know? I'm in the middle of a biography of Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother {mum to current Queen Elizabeth II}, and I've also read a few chapters of a book about vaccines {fascinating, right??}.

No commitment here, but I would be really proud if I finished crocheting my TARDIS purse. It may or may not happen, given that it requires sewing *sigh*. But hey, this can be a dream, right?

Thanks for "listening" to my accountability report. Let's talk again in a few weeks :)

Nicaragua Trip

It's been a week since returning to the States, and most of me feels very normal. There is a part of me, however, that is forever altered. I don't know how to describe this part of me, except to say that a new dimension of consciousness has been awakened.

It's like making friends with someone from another part of the country: you return home and everything is the same, but there's a part of your mind and heart that keep thinking about that faraway friend, and you hope that that friend is going on with their life and maybe thinking of you, too.

That's how I feel, except about a country. Maybe that's why this feeling is bigger and more persistent than when I moved back from Kentucky. In Kentucky, there is a church and there are families that I call home. In Nicaragua, there is an island that beckons.




When considering how to best describe the trip and fully capture the depth of God's goodness, I was struck by how easy it is to describe what the team did on the trip, but how hard it is to describe what changed in us as a result of the trip. On the one hand, it's frustrating, because I want to be able to point to this trip and say, "That was when God did *this* in me and my life was never the same!" On the other hand, however, I know that God's works are good and deep and sometimes too deep to be articulated properly. And I'm ok with that.

Here's the gist of our trip: we flew down, spent the night in a hotel in Managua,  took a 3 hour bus to the ferry, rode an hour+ ferry to Ometepe, then drove 45 minutes to our hosts' home. That week we worked on 2 different sites: one was the foundation for a big house, and the other was a small house that was almost completed when we left. A few of us also led a Vacation Bible School for the local kids. In the evenings, we drove 40 minutes to the orphanage+school where two other teams were working, and we had dinner and devotions all together.

When a ten-day trip can be summarized into a paragraph, it seems insignificant. But I know we accomplished a lot physically. For example, to build the foundation, we moved rocks. Literally.

                         photo courtesy of Stella

And we made re bar. Lots and lots and lots of re bar.

                              photo courtesy of Stella

Aaaaand we mixed a crap-ton of cement.

                                photo courtesy of Caleb G.

When all is said and done, we helped the construction team a lot. We did for them in a week what would have taken them alone probably two or three weeks.

For VBS {pictures in a future post!}, we had kids come, memorize a verse of Scripture, sing some songs, color pictures, and jump rope. Oh, and eat snack. Really simple. But the kids welcomed us into their hearts joyfully, and I know my heart will never be the same.

One of the little boys made me a card before I left. Sadly, water got on it and it's slightly less readable {and his name is erased- so sad!}. But I will take a picture and share it with you eventually. It's so sweet. Definitely teared up when he gave it to me.

What more can I say? We went and served where God had us serve. We built and loved and were used by God, and even in this I don't understand what all transpired. I just know that I'm a different person, and that I can't wait to go back next year.

Back Home....Cue Craziness

Home again, home again, jiggety jig!

Friends, you deserve a post {or six} about my little trip to Nicaragua. We are in agreement about this. But right now, the introverted part of me {gasp! Introvert!?!?!?} wants to process the trip a bit more before sharing all about it. Right now I feel like I'm going through the motions of being home while my internal conversation is stuck on an island in Central America. Gotta do some thinking, this girl does.

I will tell you that the trip was way more incredible than I had anticipated, that I would go back for another week in a heartbeat, that I want to go back next year, and that the wildlife there is pretty, um, exciting. Yep, we'll go with exciting.
Here is a short, incomplete list of the wildlife that we found in our room alone. Oh, and let us also mention that the first three invaded our room within the space of 5 minutes one night. Did we sleep well? Eh...

• scorpion {see picture, post mortem}
  
                                         courtesy of Stella
• frog {in Heidi's bed, no less}
  
                      courtesy of Stella
• cockroach {also in Heidi's bed. It did not warrant a picture, because we killed it too quickly and we were more focused on the above-mentioned frog.}
• gecko {there were several outside, but one came in for our last night}
• another scorpion {we thought it was dead, but then it ran away outside-eek!}

I promise, more details and pictures of the trip will be shared! Have patience :)

Now that I'm home, it is Go Time! I may have alluded to some upcoming changes, and I still can't say everything that I'm dying to, but let's just say that next week I may be able to share! Which means that this week is...cray cray. That's crazy for those of you who don't speak abreve ;)

Anyway, things are moving quickly, and I'm both excited and overwhelmed! I'm excited that things are moving forward, and I'm overwhelmed by the reality of how fast things are moving and by the amount of work needed. But it will all come together wonderfully, I'm sure, and when it does, you will know!

I leave you with one last picture from Nicaragua. Say hello to our friendly neighborhood volcano!

                                                            courtesy of Levi

Seriously, Nicaragua is one of the most beautiful places, and I can't wait to share more of my adventures with you!

Sunday's Ponderings

First of all, sorry for the one post last week. Sometimes two posts feels overwhelming, which is bad, because it shouldn't be. But it was a busy week, and we're going for flexibility, and if you have a problem with that, then you should probably find a different blog to read.

Yep, it's going to be one of those nights.

As you know, I'm looking for a condo or townhouse to buy so my bestie and I can feel like real grown-ups. I went to two open houses this weekend, and while there are some great places out there, so much depends on my budget, which right now is limiting.

So I'm contemplating ways to make some extra dough, and I'm also considering what my dad told me: people who are really successful do things that other people don't consider doing or aren't willing to do. He gave the example that the garbage man is usually the richest man in town because he does what no one else wants to do. So he encouraged me to find something that I'm passionate about and make that into my job. Do something that others won't do or aren't willing to do so that I can live in a way that others can't.

It makes sense. Dad bought a gas station when he was two years younger than I am. Dad is a risk-taker and a man of reason and faith, and he calls it like it is. He's very black and white. I am too, but probably not to the same degree. So I feel stuck, because I want to do something unusual and out there and something that I'm passionate about and that I can make a living off of and that I can pursue and all that, but I don't know what that something is.

I want to work more with people than with a computer.
I want to work with a purpose.
I want to use my gifts and talents that God has given me.
I want to do something that hopefully I could continue once I have kids.
I want to tangibly advance the Kingdom of God.

Any ideas?

Thoughtful Tidbits

In no particular order, here are some thoughts...

Grandma told me last night that she is very glad to live with us and that she's grateful she's not alone. She said that even when we're in different rooms doing different things, it's ok because she's not alone in the house. This really made me think, because Grandma and I are very much alike: we are both firstborns {that encompasses A LOT}, we are both very organized, and we both like to be around people. But it's been a big change having her with us... to be fair, I got home only a day and a half before she moved in, and that was less than a month ago, so everyone is still adjusting.

Like the new look? I finally sat down and learned how to make tabs up there- woot! Feel free to check it out and give suggestions, either for the Intro page or for future pages. What do you want to see?

Mom and Pops are in Texas for a couple days, enjoying the 90* weather...I'm not jealous...well, not very jealous. 75* is my ideal temp, but I'll take 90 over 40 :(

Speaking of Texas, I'm heading there myself in a couple of weeks. My internship in the Frozen Tundra ended, but I agreed to go to Dallas and help out with their big event there. Yay for business travel! It will be fun to see my co-workers again, and the sunshine sure helps :)

My weekend plans consist of the Ladies' Conference at church and maybe painting my nails. How about you?

Work

My BFF just posted her amazing and brilliant thoughts. Read her and then check out my response. This started as a comment, and then I realized that I was finally articulate what I was trying to say in the second half of this previous post, so please enjoy my fuller articulation here.

My thoughts tend towards "what am i actually accomplishing with my life? why am i going work doing something that i'm not very passionate about when i could be, oh i don't know, living in Africa feeding children, or volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center, or building relationships with people. "Work" seems so pointless when it just involves email!

But then I realize, this is why I'm in Business Leadership School right now- work has eternal value, God is a worker, and THIS place is my ministry! It doesn't feel like it right now when I have one co-worker who is a strong Christian, but it is, and it will be, and i know that God has great plans for me and they start HERE, in the office, in my inbox, in my heart.

I realized that there is was dualism in my heart, that I was separating in my mind the work done in a business and the work done blatantly and openly as a ministry. WRONG! God's ministry is wherever He has placed you, and how stupid of me for not recognizing my own feelings of frustrations and applying the teachings that I'm hearing. Duh, Bek!

So there. I think that I've said enough. What do you say?

Comfort Zone

The company that I'm interning for is really focused on leadership, both personal leadership and business leadership. The owner is a great, godly man who is dedicated to growing leaders, and he has done hundreds and thousands of webinars, seminars, speeches, blog posts, newsletters, emails, and more all about developing leaders and growing people. He's fabulous.

So my task this week has been to go through and create a catalog of all the videos we have, and -you guessed it- the vast majority of them are of our owner speaking about leadership.

So I ponder...

In my Business 101 class {waaaay back during freshman year}, I learned that there are basically three specialties of business people:

1. People who start businesses {usually start, get it going, sell after a few years and move on to start something else}
2. People who run businesses {these are the people who buy the existing business & run with it}
3. People who rescue businesses from extinction 

My Business 101 class discussed this, and my teacher pointed out how rare it is for one person to have all three abilities, and that's what made Steve Jobs so amazing-he did all three.

I remember talking with my mom after that class and saying "You and Dad have told me I would own my own business, and I guess I always thought that meant I had to start it, but now I think that I would be good at running it without starting it!" Light bulb!

fast forward to now

The owner of this company is a true visionary. He has so many ideas, and he is always looking forward. He sees things way down the road and then sees where the end will end and then starts to make a new road. It is amazing.

It is not easy or natural for me to look that far down the road. Well, sometimes I try to convince God to let me plan out my whole life, but He just chuckles at me. But when I think about where I want to be in 20 years, I have a few ideas, but that's it. I think part of that is the learn-to-trust-God thing.
It feels like I see dots out in my future, but I don't know how they're all connected. There are many locations around the world that have my heart, and I don't know how God is going to use it all.

But let's get back to the business aspect. L and I have talked about this, and neither of us want to be THE person responsible for a whole organization. I would love to be in charge of something {can't help it- firstborn, administrator, management major}  but I want to answer to someone. I want someone else to tell me "This is the long term vision" and then I will say "Awesome. Here I go to do it."

But is that what God has called me to? Am I supposed to be THE person responsible for a whole organization?

These are a few things that I know and will hold fast to:

• God made different personalities and there is nothing wrong with having one and not another
• God has called me to do something and bit by bit, He's revealing it to me
• What God calls me to might will probably be uncomfortable
• God's grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in my weakness

just some thoughts...

Good Thoughts on "Christian Dating"

This video is really good! I like his points. And his sense of humor. Check it out.

The video is here

Weird and Awkward and What I’m Thinking About

Soooo in case the title doesn't give me away, the things I've been thinking about recently are weird and awkward, and if you don’t like personal hygiene issues, I suggest you come back tomorrow for Funny Friday :)

A friend wrote a blog post about natural deodorant, and it got me thinking. As most of you probably know by now, my grandpa has Alzheimer's and it’s awful. When I think about my generation growing old and wanting to kill themselves, this disease makes me understand {but this is another blog post forthcoming, so I won’t go there.} Anywho, I hope and pray that I don’t have to go through this disease, either with another loved one or with myself.

So when this blog post reminded me of the potential link between Alzheimer’s and the aluminum in antiperspirants, it got me thinking. Her post lists a lot of different options for aluminum-free deodorants, so I decided to try some.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not really into the “crunchy granola” stuff; natural is great and fine, but I figure I've been putting crap into and onto my body for a while and we all have to die eventually, so yeah. It’s not something I've been convicted on, but I can understand those who have that conviction. However, I do not want to mess with Alzheimer’s. No sir-ee-bob.

I know the studies aren't conclusive, and I’m getting in touch with some people who know more than me and/or who know people who know more than me, but I just thought that I would share the topic that has literally been consuming my thoughts for a while. I don’t want to sweat {or glisten, as ladies do} but I sure as hell don’t want Alzheimer’s a zillion times more. So I’m willing to experiment and give a few different products a whirl and see what works for me, for the sake of…peace of mind? my mind? the future?

am I giving into fear here? because if God is really in control, and He is, He can allow Alzheimer’s even if I never wear deodorant again, and He can prevent Alzheimer’s even if I drank aluminum from an aluminum can. but what about being smart and being a good steward and taking care of what God has given you and me?

I wear a seatbelt while in a vehicle, because it can help protect me. I’ve been in two car accidents while wearing one.

I take vitamins because they’re good for me and help protect my immune system {or rather help my immune system protect me!}. I still get sick sometimes.

What’s right here? is there a right or wrong? is it personal conviction? does the Word say anything about this?
****************************UPDATED 10-27-12*******************
I tried Tom’s of Maine natural deodorant for about a week and was totally not happy. ps I looked for a way to comment on the product on their website, but no luck. so just read this and know that it is ineffective.
Tom’s of Maine went away {back to Wal-Mart, lol} and I bought Arm & Hammer’s natural deo. Listen! do you hear the angelic chorus? because my pits do! wait, that’s gross…and impossible-armpits don’t have ears. moving on. I love it. so if you’re into stuff like this, give A & H a whirl.

oh, and a friend of a friend gave me a recipe for a natural deo, but it involved a) cooking your own and b) using your fingers to apply, neither of which did I look forward to with joy in my heart, so good ol Wally World came to the rescue again. yay deodorant! :)

Questions

Lately I've been questioning my character. Internally, my thoughts turn to am I good enough? and do I obey God fully? and how do I make changes that last and re-do habits that are bad and how do I make myself obey God and live life fully?

These are questions that have no answers. I’m feeling desperate, like I've been held under water and my lungs are burning for oxygen. My life has been good so far, in terms of my behavior. It’s hard to explain what I feel and think. There are things that I know I should be doing, but instead I do the opposite. There are things I know I should stop doing, but instead I keep on doing them. What’s the verse where Paul basically describes my struggle? I know there’s one out there.

Going to start this internship and live with my grandparents could be a new start, but I’m discouraged and keep thinking that things will be just the same. My inside is not changing; only my environment will be different, so why would that motivate change? I guess there’s the hope of forming new habits as I form a new normal out there, but the negative voice in my head keeps discouraging me.

What do I do?

Confessions of a Pinterest Addict

As I’m sure you know by now, I am just a teensy bit addicted to the wonderful website of Pinterest. It has inspired me to try various recipes and to step outside my crafty comfort zone.

One of my favorite topics to search, though, is the “Prints and Posters” category. It is usually both uplifting and laugh-out-loud funny, and generally cleaner than the “humor” category.

Ok, time to get real.

Do you, fellow Pinners, ever not pin something because it has a swear word in it, even though it is absolutely hysterical? I must confess (hence the title) that I try not to re-pin cuss words, but I still laugh at them and even point my sisters to read them. I guess I just don’t want the negative impressions a curse word brings, so I just show them to my sisters and call it happy.

What do you do?

Why Remember the Old, Bad Memories?

For my capstone course, my group is researching the Balkan war(s) that took place in the 1990s. There is so much history here! Part of me loves how old the country is, and how rich a history these people have. Part of me resents them for being that old, because it’s a lot to learn about and write a paper about in a month! And part of me is saddened by all the painful memories these people have. “Issues” surfaced during WWI & II that dated back to the 1100s and 1300s, etc. That’s more than 600 years of bitterness held in the memories of these people! I’m blown away by that, first of all because our lovely nation isn't that old AT ALL, and secondly because why would you want to hold onto the bitterness and pain?

I have friends from Germany, and I had the privilege of visiting the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C. with one such German friend. I asked him what history class in Germany was like, and he told me that the Nazi regime and the Holocaust are taught in schools to remember the mistakes that the country had made, but would not make again. I've heard that it is illegal in Germany to deny that the Holocaust actually occurred.

My question/thought/contemplation today is, why couldn't the Balkans teach their history lessons without adding bitterness and revenge to the mix? Isn't it possible, as Germany is demonstrating, to remember wrongs done by us and to us, and then forgive and ask for forgiveness and move on, vowing to not let history repeat itself?

My next thought is, will the United States be like Germany or like the Balkans in regards to our own mistakes? I’m thinking particularly of slavery, the Civil War, and racial equality. Will it be something that we teach our children, this is how we used to think, and then we learned this, and now we do things this way? Can it be like that? Or do we have to keep pointing racist fingers at each other, repaying the crimes of the past, and never moving forward in our future?

I’m reminded of the message my pastor gave to my MC class during one of our first weeks. He spoke about Potential, and how our expectations determine how much potential comes into existence. Can we expect that people can change and that we just need to forgive and live our lives? Thoughts, readers?

I know this is random…

… but I totally woke up thinking about this, and I wonder what all my dear readers think.

So. You’re a Christian gal. He’s a Christian guy. You like each other. You’re not married yet. But you get pregnant. Oops.

How many young Christians who sin and conceive automatically think about getting married to “redeem” the situation? I’m honestly curious, and first of all may I say I’m glad that abortion is not chosen! But I’m not sure that a quick marriage is the best solution all the time.

I’ll be honest, I have friends who have done this. I’m not sure what the long-term results are going to be, but I’m definitely glad that the child is alive! I’m glad that the families of the parents are still involved with the couple, and I’m glad that so far things are working out for them.

But is marrying the person you slept with always the best decision? I’m not convinced that it is. I think that marriage is something that should be considered long and hard, and that definitely more than 9 months should be spend praying about it and preparing for it.

I’m not a fan of the automatic marriage that can follow a Christian out-of-wedlock conception. The emphasis is on the word automatic, because if this really is the person God has for you, then prepare to be joined to him or her for the rest of your life! But my hesitation is that he or she is not the person God has for you, but the wedding happens anyway. Do you see what I’m getting at, readers? I don’t believe that something can be redeemed by marriage… I think that God can redeem situations and people, and that if marriage is in His plans, that’s great, but I hope someone doesn't get married just because they’re pregnant. Does that make any sense? Comments please?

There are some weird things to think about while getting a massage….just saying

It’s totally true. Ok, for me it’s true. My mind just wanders along during a massage, unless she’s working on my sides- then my mind is pretty much on my sides! But anyway. I was lying there, letting Miss D. work her magic, and I recalled a conversation I had with a new friend. We were talking about life and convictions and men, and alcohol came up. My friend, Miss N, has decided to not drink alcohol, because, as she puts it, “alcoholism runs in my family.” Her sister had pointed out to me earlier that it is one person in her family, but N’s conviction stands strong.

N is pursuing a career in nursing, so she definitely knows way more medical things than I do, but her comment made me pause and think. Now, as a further disclaimer, I am neither scientist nor theologian; I am simply a girl contemplating these ideas.

Personally, I do not think that there is any such thing as the disease of alcoholism. I think that people choose to drink alcohol and then alcohol becomes their god, or alcohol takes control. I think that there are spiritual and willpower issues at work, but I don’t believe that there is a disease.

Now, one might argue that there are researchers who have found evidence of the alcohol gene or something in DNA that inclines or disinclines certain people to become alcoholics. There are two thoughts that come to mind in response to these claims: first of all, these researchers are probably working from a humanist worldview, which means that the researchers believe that mankind is basically good.  This is a false presupposition, but if you base your research on it, of course you’re going to “find” evidence to support that belief. Secondly, hellooooo generational transfer! If you grew up in an abusive home, statistics say that you will be in an abusive relationship later in life. If you grew up with an alcoholic or drug addict, chances are you will be a user.

Anyway, I know that this is a random post, but I just had to get these thoughts out of my head and onto “paper.” Thanks for letting me clear my head. :)

June!

Hello, friends!

There are several things on my mind, things that have been ruminating as a post or two, but as I sit here at work, scanning til my eyes fall out, I think I'm just going to post them all together. So please forgive the randomness and chaos of this post, but I really need to both get these ideas out of my head and distract myself from the retarded scanner behind me.

So the other day I drove my grandparents to the cemetery. (Told you this was random!) They wanted to see their future "spot," and since we were out and about, they asked me to drive them there. It was very strange at first... I can't imagine wanting to go visit, as they put it, my future spot. But as Grandpa and I sat in the car and looked down the path that divided one section from another, I felt a strange sense of peace and wonder. It wasn't overwhelmingly the Presence of God or the peace of God, but it was a calm that was both honored and at rest, much like the persons in the ground. It's hard to describe, but it was comparable to visiting Arlington National Cemetery, only the awe and reverence was to a lesser degree. I think there's something about knowing that life is finite that inspires awe for those who have gone before us.

Ok, next thought. It's way lighter than the first. My sister teaches swim lessons, and one of her students is autistic. He's always complaining about swimming, although he honestly loves the water and has improved greatly under my sister's instruction. One day she told him they were going to swim across the pool and back. After they had done this several times, the little boy exclaimed, "Dude!!! I'm NOT a mermaid!!!" Hysterical, I know.

Third thought- MY SISTER GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!! That's about as far as I've thought.

That's all I can think of for now. I'm going to throw the scanner out the window at this time. Please be advised.

So Much for Every Day

Well, that sucked. So much for announcing that I will be blogging every day... too bad that there are some days that I simply don't sit down at a computer! Well. Maybe we'll go with 3 times a week. That might be the safest and most honest way to do this. Sorry, friend-who-wanted-blogging-companionship. Until I get into the groove of work, trading cars, avoiding traffic, and sharing a bathroom, blogging will be relegated to a 3 times a week activity.

Deep thought: I won't become perfect. I think I knew this, but I hadn't been living like it's true. My thoughts had been "I need to mature before I could do X, Y, or Z." That may be true for somethings, but the more truthful item to note is that I will never stop maturing {I hope!}. Life is a process of continual growth; it's not like trees bloom and then quit. They live in their blooms, they lose their leaves, they look dead, and then more blossoms come. It's a cycle. I pray my life is an ever-progressing movement towards Christ-likeness.

Prayer focus: my grandparents. Some of you may remember a post a year or so ago about my grandpa's Alzheimer's. Well, I go and play cards with him three times a week so that my grandma can get a break. There's more stuff going on, but right now my prayers are with both of them so that they can find peace.

Funny story: It's not really funny, but it made me smile, and I hope you smile too. The other day Mom was driving me home from work, and I was listening to my voice mails. To my utter delight, my friend from my other church had called, and her kids were the ones to proclaim their love for me on the phone. As the 2 year old put it gleefully, "we wuv you!" My heart cockles were indeed warmed.

I can't remember the other thing, but I'll check and post it tomorrow. Now I must drive my father to the airport. He's off to the state next door for approximately 15 hours... woot.