Along Came A Spider...

You may have caught the gist of this story on Facebook. However, my mind is so scarred that this is all I can think of. So please enjoy.

Last night, I vacuumed the entire condo.

Let me back up.

There I was, minding my own business, bawling over Doctor Who {yes, I've already seen these episodes, and yes, I still cried. Ten saying goodbye to all his companions? Tearing up as I type!}

So I'm sitting on the floor wearing my Princess Diaries-inspired pajamas, wrapped in a cocoon of my pink blanket, and in the corner of my eye, I see something move. Now, Samara is out for the evening, so there should be no movement except for me and the television screen. Nevertheless, something moved.

What my eyes beheld was not something that brought joy to my heart. Or as someone commented on Facebook, "that did not bless me."

There was a HUGE spider making a move on my Kleenex box. As in, it was between me and my tissue. As in, just a few inches from my person. But don't worry. Our close proximity only lasted about half a second.

I leaped onto the couch and let loose an expression that I will not share here. By the time I turned around to look at the spider, it was gone. Completely gone. 

On the one hand, I was really glad the spider hadn't attached itself to me or my blanket. On the other hand, I wanted to know where the darned thing was hiding!

Soooo I vacuumed the entire condo. I even vacuumed the closet in which the vacuum resides. The couch got a good once-over. The recliner {upon which I was leaning at the time of this incident} got pulled out and the whole area was vacuumed over a couple of times. I even did the hand-held and vacuumed as far behind the bookshelf as I could reach. 

But the spider was nowhere to be found. It was partially not at all reassuring, but I had also vacuumed my room, so I went to bed in peace. But just to be safe, I warned Samara via text: "beware the loose spider!"

This morning, Samara reported that the spider had been waiting for her...in her room...the one place I hadn't vacuumed because, like, personal space and stuff. But that spider was smart- it went to the one place I wouldn't vacuum!

Rest well, readers: Samara's nickname is "Sting, the Spider Slayer" because that woman takes out spiders like a Seattlite takes out recycling. Which is like a boss, in case you don't get my made-up analogy. 

Anyway, this story has a two-part happy ending. The condo is vacuumed and the spider is dead. Holla. 

UPDATE: If you would like to read Samara's version, please brace for a chuckle and enjoy :)

Funny Friday- Bird Edition

I totes meant to post this on Tuesday when it actually happened, but ce la vie....and stuff. See how good my French is? So sad. 15 years of ballet and I can't even speak a complete sentence.

moving on...

So, Bird Edition. First of all, on Tuesday, I think that Mom and Sister P and I all said "put a bird on it" like 467 times total. If you have not seen this yet, please watch it...and then go put a bird on things! you tubin' here, yo
{P.S. if someone could tell me how to put the clip here on this very blog page, that would be wonderful. Please and thank you.}

Second part of Bird Edition: The weather has been fabulous this week, and so I went on a walk around the parking lot during my lunch break. And there was a dead bird on the ground. Grossness. I did not kill it or step in it. You're welcome for those almost-graphic details.

Third part of Bird Edition: Because of said-lovely-weather, my fam dined outside on the deck. And then I heard a *thunk* by one of the windows, but I didn't see anything. At first I thought my dad was home from work but had moved into the kitchen...and then there was a *thunk* on the kitchen window, and there was a bird in the house! Seriously, just like the Portlandia video {that I'm linking again} the bird was flying all over the place! Thankfully Mom was able to direct the creature out of the curtains and into the great wild blue yonder...of outside, not of our living room. Like a boss, Mom, like a boss.

Happy Friday, y'all, and be nice to birds.